My Browns season tickets arrived the other day. My friend, Kristie, who went in with me for tickets when the Browns first came back, always had a "ripping party" when her tickets arrived. I tend to think of "ripping party" meaning something else, but I guess she made a big deal of tearing her tickets at the perforations and decided that was enough of a reason to party. Well, Kristie's not around anymore and those left behind are now subjected to Browns Version 2.4.

The marketing budget must not be what it once was, because this was the leanest season ticket package I've received. Remember last year's "Section Hat"? Ouch. Anyhow, the package is 10 pages in normal paper-sized format bound in a spiral notebook. This year's slogan: "cleveland lives football" with the Browns helmet logo between "lives" and "football". This is graphics-intensive with no player images included in the notebook.

We have a page on how easy it is to manage your tickets and dump them, if you choose. I'm not kidding. That must be a question they get a lot. Then we have 2 pages on things I'll never use on game days. The Luxury Suites, a new BrownsTown reception room, Hospitality Village, AT&T Club Lounges and even Legends. 2 more pages on Browns Backers, the Applebee's Family Zone, the Team Shop and the Top Dawg Kids Club.

Then we have the stadium map and the always-fun-to-read Fan Conduct page. Zero tolerance for "attempting to sit in seats for which you are not properly ticketed" and "excessive standing". Ri-i-i-i-ight. Highlights of what you cannot bring in: Weapons, Animals, "Confetti or glitter", Fireworks, Mace, Large purses, Strollers. Of course, they don't allow clothing with "vulgar language or phrasing". Hahahahahaha, that's a good one. "Fuck Modell!" Things you can bring in are fairly normal except for "Diaper bags (if only accompanied by a child)".

The tickets themselves have unidentifiable players on them. No photos, just graphics. The only opponents to show up on the tickets are for the AFC North rivals. These have a random Raven, Bengal and Steeler on them. The last page has coupons for concessions! BOGOs on a hot dog, popcorn, pretzel, nachos and soda. And 20% off team shop items, but only before kickoff. get that foam finger ahead of time.

There you have it. I'll see how things have changed on game day, as the first home exhibition game is the GLC against Detroit on Saturday, August 22.

Meal of Links

Last year, when I was in Pittsburgh, I stopped at IKEA. Now most of the stuff I bought has worked out. But I have now successfully, but unintentionally, broken five of the six-pack of glassware I purchased. Did not even last one year. Not exactly tossing these things around, champagne toast-style. Very disappointing.

I actually like "Wipeout". The idea of riffing off the phrase "big balls" fascinates me on how they get that stuff past the censors.

World War II defined.

Which colleges result in the best paying jobs. My alma mater must not be technical enough.

Hedo's Cellphone Ad (In Turkey)



Exercise Yard

Watch LeBron get dunked on. No biggie, he's obviously gassed and it looks like he reacted late to the whistle to start the play. Not like he was underneath the hoop and got posterized. Elsewhere, TMZ weeps.

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56 Across: Wild West showman (4 letters) Answer: Cody