Tonight, it is the Academy Awards presentation. How great! We'll see Heath Ledger on the Dead People Salute, somebody who thought they would win will get hosed, and my favorite, when a minority is nominated or presenting, we'll be sure to see which other members of their race have attended.

Not sure if I'll do the major blow-by-blow this evening, so here are the picks, just in case:

Movie: "No Country for Old Men"
Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis
Actress: The Edith Piaf chick
Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem
Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett

There you have it. I saved you 215 minutes of TV viewing. Now go watch the end of the NASCAR race.

80th Annual Academy Awards Telecast

I didn't do a running tally of the festivities, because as it ended up, it only took 3:20 and they cut out the Humanitarian Award and another of the Honorary Oscars, which is always catch up on my typing time. But, of course, I did watch.

The oddest thing was not telecast-related, but during the reading of the Best Actor nominees, a patrol car was shining its light through my windows and front door. WTF? You can't rightly look out the door, because who knows if someone called or they were looking for someone. Sheesh! It's like when the police copter is hovering around your house. Don't run outside looking like a fool. Stay put.

Hey, how 'bout those predictions, eh? Heath Ledger got the biggest applause on the Dead People Scroll, 4 of 5 in the majors with Cate Blanchett probably mad, and the most obvious peer shot was when that 98-year old guy was giving his Honorary Oscar speech and they showed Hal Holbrook! Hah!

Jon Stewart was much better this year. Although I am a sucker for stupid jokes like his Gaydolf Tittler running for President in '44 joke. That made me laugh. He seemed much more relaxed and maybe the writers strike emptied his plate a bit and they went with more basic stuff, meaning dumb it down. I enjoyed him a lot this time. Although why did the Best Song winner get to come back and deliver her part of that duo's speech? What about all the past winners who couldn't give theirs. Start it earlier and then everyone can speak. Stewart also joked about "Norbit" getting a nomination. Tee hee. I've never told anyone, "Hey, that movie sucks, but go for the makeup."

I was set to watch some red carpet action on Spice...I mean E!, before the show. Seacrest Out asked Jessica Alba if she was going to breast-feed her child. I thought that rather odd, so off that went and I watched NASCAR and some of the Cavs game until 8:00. Then I watched ABC's pre-game festivities. Man, Regis Philbin was awful. He called him "Xavier Bardem". Not only that he said, "Ex-zavior Bardem". Mindful of Woody Allen saying, "She said Van Gock. Van Gock!"

Who represented old Hollywood (non-nominee category)? Was it Dennis Hopper? Am I missing something? Whey was he there? Nominee, relative of nominee, friend of nominee, fan, lost? Strange. I mean I know why Diane Lane was there, as wife of presenter Josh Brolin, but Hopper? And didn't Tommy Lee Jones looked pissed during the beginning of Stewart's monologue?




















In HD, you can really tell who's got the goods. Jennifer Garner...flawless. Without question, she looked the best. Penelope Cruz showed up and I got to do my favorite Cruz line, although I said it in Spanish this time, "No habla! No habla! No habla! No habla! No habla!" Then she habla'ed and I said, "Bah!" Still not sold on Cameron Diaz. I don't even have to go under the hood for that decision.

Shouldn't the winner for Best Costume Design actually have a nice outfit on? I'm just hablaing.

Steve Carrell makes me laugh by walking out to the mike. I can't help it. Anne Hathaway...sigh! Did he say "shit"? Seriously, I think he said "shit".



















Katherine Heigl didn't look good at all to me. Hilary Swank is another one from time to time that doesn't look right, but I do have to go under the hood for replays on her.

On each of the five nominated songs, my sound kept cutting out. I wish I could do that on purpose, but this was annoying.

"Everybody clap your hands....come on, now." Fuck McDonald's.

Cuba Gooding, Jr. in a montage. Hah! Now doing dreck like "Daddy Day Camp" and wearing some other guy's underwear. Do you realize he beat William H. Macy in "Fargo" that year?

It's your big Oscar win and who presents your award? Jennifer Hudson! Buzzkill. 3 years from now, it'll be "Who's that?"

Hey, I thought there was a commercial break and Owen Wilson was on. WTF? Did they give him a standing O? Did he show his scars? Was he funny?






























Marion Cotillard should have said "Je bois de votre milk-shake!"

OK, who could not see the winner for Best Foreign Film coming? I'm telling you, any movie that has Nazis and Jews in it, is an automatic. I think if some foreign land made "Hogan's Heroes" into a movie, it has a shot.



















David Bowie won an Oscar!

Too bad that Roy Scheider died late for the Dead People Scroll, even though everyone watching knows he's dead. I'm guessing lots, some, a few people watching said, "Hey, they forgot Roy Scheider." Although they used his line, "We're gonna need a bigger boat."

Another tradition at the Oscars. Best Original Screenplay goes to the movie that everyone liked, but no one wants to vote for any major nominations it may have received. This year, it went to "Juno". I recall "Sideways" and "Pulp Fiction" getting this treatment in the past.

I understand the world is changing, but why are some of these presenters on here. Miley Cyrus, are you kidding me? Seriously, find Walken, find Alec Baldwin, find Will Ferrell, for crying out loud. I didn't have a problem with The Rock as a presenter, but riddle me this, Batman? Why isn't he a bigger star? It's a strange world when Matt Damon (Bourne is way cool, though) is a bigger action star than him. I thought "The Rundown" was just the beginning. Whoops.












Finally, the Coen Brothers take Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Director, and Best Picture. First time ever for the triple crown.

Meal of Links


Ralph Nader tosses his hat into the presidential ring. Here we go again. BTW, I got a call from Mrs. Clinton today. She says her record is being distorted and she has a plan to fix NAFTA.

Who should be John McCain's running mate? Some of the usual suspects are mentioned, but not many.

The Onion always makes me laugh. This time a victim of an alleged mall shooting crawled into the mall area so they would not die inside of a Yankee Candle. That is too funny.

Exercise Yard

Last night, HBO had the Klitschko-Ibragimov fight, and it was pretty dull. The announce team kept saying how it was a clash of styles, but I don't know, I thought Klitschko should have put him away much earlier, as his right hand was working great all night. An uninteresting bout to be sure, with Klitschko getting the unanimous decision.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.