I headed over to the Cinemark to see "Babel" this evening. Total attendance: Three. Total attendance of the last three movies I've seen: Eleven.

It was a different sort of movie, but well done. "Babel" is three...three...three stories in one. Lemme see if I have this correct. It's the story of a rifle owned by an Asian hunter, who gives it to his Moroccan guide, who then sells it to a neighbor, whose kids use it to scare jackals away from their goats, but shoot Cate Blanchett as she's riding in a tour bus passing by, after she has argued with her husband, Brad Pitt. Pitt then has to call home to San Diego, to tell their illegal housekeeper she's stuck with the kids for a while, but she has to go to Mexico for her son's wedding, and takes the kids with her. So, we're in four different countries.

Here's what I learned:

Sometimes it takes a bullet to the clavicle to find out how much you really love someone.

Deaf Asian mute chicks have a rough go of it.

Moroccans are actually really nice people. Except for their police.

Border Patrol personnel don't seem to be very forgiving.

They are still listening to Earth, Wind and Fire's "September" in Japan.

Lots of people seem to have death follow them around a lot.

Cool gadgets abound in Japan.

Americans think we can do anything, anywhere on the planet. Even sending in a helicopter to rescue wounded tourists in Morocco.

In a movie where communication seems to be all screwed up, I had to read this movie, too. Thank God, Brad Pitt speaks English.

"Transformers" comes out on July 4th.

Meal of Links

Speaking of Oscars, you can catch all of the Best Picture nominees at AMC on Feb. 24th. $30 gets you tickets for all 5 movies and unlimited soda and popcorn. The AMC at Richmond Town Square handles it locally.

Frankie Laine died. Yep, the guy who sang "Rawhide" and "Mule Train" passed away. Don't forget he also sang the theme to "Blazing Saddles". Mel Brooks said Laine had a tear in his eye when he recorded that song, because he didn't get the joke and thought it was serious.

Is "24" really bad this year? Ratings have not been that great.

Exercise Yard

Looking at this AL Central preview, you'd think the Indians have a chance this year. Do we? Pitchers and catchers report next week.

Visitor

24 Across: 1940s-'50s pitcher Maglie (3 letters) Answer: Sal