Last night, I got back from Toronto and boy, are my legs tired. I walked and walked and walked to the point of getting old man calves. Yeow! Gale and I crammed lots of stuff to do between Sunday and Wednesday, so here's the report from the True North.

Where We Stayed

We stayed at the Sheraton Centre Toronto on the 29th floor. Her room overlooked City Hall facing North. Mine faced a bunch of buildings to the South. We got the rooms through a deal on Hotwire. Rooms were pretty good. King beds, lots of pillows, 50 channels on the tube, good bathroom. All you can ask for in a terrifically-priced room that you won't spend a lot of time in.

You cannot beat the location on Queen, which gives you easy access to just about everything in T.O. Did not set foot into the eateries at the hotel, so I don't know anything about them. Staff was OK, except for a maid that Gale had words with. A timing issue on a cleaning request. Other than that, it served its purpose.

Except we had to use the gaming remotes to operate the TVs. We had no regular remotes. They mysteriously appeared sometime on Monday.

Best elevator conversation (on Sunday):

Gale: "Did you finish the puzzle?"
Me: "No."
British Random: "I did. And I also finished the Acrostic. A rare Sunday double."
Me: "I'm still working on Saturday's."
British Random: "If you need any help, I'm in Room 2-8-Fuck-You."

He didn't really say that, but that's how it felt. I didn't have the heart to tell him I was referring to the Wonderword.

"The Man Who Loved Tim Horton's"

Earlier in the year, when Tom Gordon was kicking ass in Fantasy Baseball, I was "The Man Who Loved Tom Gordon", a la Stephen King's book. Well, I've changed my name.

Noted Torontonian, Fun Frank, told us to stop at Tim Horton's on the way up. Now, Timmy ("Timmy...Timmah...Timmy") is all over the place, except for Cleveland, it seems. Columbus has him, although they have everything these days. Anyhow, Tim Horton's is a coffee shop that sells donuts and sammies at lower-than-Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts rates. Fun Frank says the only way they will open in this area is when they have 25 franchises sold between Detroit and Erie, so they can pop them open at the same time. Otherwise, the market won't get any.

Out first stop was at Dunkirk, NY. Risking life and limb, because there was a state trooper killer on the loose nearby, we went to Tim Horton's. Real mugs and plates inside. Regular coffee cups for on-the-go folks. I had a really good egg-and-cheese breakfast sammie and something called a Butter Caramel Hot Smoothie. I don't drink coffee. But this is a decaf, non-coffee thingie. Instant addiction.

I also had a Raspberry Hot Smoothie later that day and wanted to try a French Vanilla one near our hotel on Monday, where this conversation took place:

Me: "Medium French Vanilla Hot Smoothie."
Worker: "Mjweffbvuhiatyvwi."
Me: "Medium French Vanilla Hot Smoothie."
Worker: "Mjweffbvuhiatyvwi."
(At this point, I sense the Hot Smoothies are not working. Not clear on what is actually happening, I go back to the standard.)
Me: "Medium Butter Caramel Hot Smoothie."
Worker then rings up order. The Labour Day Parade could not start fast enough at this point.

I think we stopped at five of these. Border crossing, Chinatown (a goldmine), near our hotel, after a Fun Frank driving tour on Bay, I think, and the shrine in Dunkirk. Sadly, I'm eating Timbits (little donuts) right now. My last connection to Tim Horton's for a while, I'm afraid.

Indians Games

We went to not one, but two Blue Jays-Indians games, at what is now called the Rogers Centre. The roof was open both days. The most affordable tickets were on the 200-level for $38. This is comparable to club seating at Jacobs Field and extends foul pole to foul pole. This is where we sat at the afternoon game on Labour Day.

But we didn't sit in our seats. There were two openings, one each in right and left field, that had tables and a bar in the back. Well, we parked it at the one in right and never left. Sat up front and had beer and a good view, with a comfortable chair. Great way to watch a game. This was a game where Pizza Pizza had a contest if they struck out 7 Indians, you get a free slice. Incredibly, we passed this in the fifth. We lost a tough one, as B.J. Ryan came on for a rare two-inning save with a final score of 4-3.

We also got a discount and went to the CN Tower after the game. It's high.

Tuesday night's game was Halladay vs. Sowers, a great matchup. We scalped tickets and got seats 12 rows behind home plate. Better hot dogs down there. Sowers was matching Halladay pitch for pitch, when Bengie Molina hit a homer off of him in the 7th for a 2-1 lead. In the top of the 8th, the Tribe rallied. Garko (Poor guy. Inexplicably, he was the whipping boy for Toronto fans. A Buffalo thing?) doubled, we had a couple of nubbers that turned in to a run that tied the game. Then Andy Marte hit a grand slam to put us ahead. Sowers got a win he really deserved.

We got to see a win and a loss. Attendance was that September-we're-out-of-it type numbers. 27,000 on the holiday, 18,000 the next night. It's an interesting place to watch a game. They have lots of fan involvement and show lots of fans on the video screens throughout the game. Contests, etc., as they have an in-game host, like Al, I guess. Fun time.

"The Illusionist"

Continuing my streak of seeing a movie in Toronto, we went to see "The Illusionist" at the Paramount Theatre on John and Richmond. This is the one that has the IMAX screen and it is really a neat theatre. "Superman Returns" was on the IMAX, but we opted for a non-chaperone title. You go up this long escalator where it is movie heaven.

You have a KFC, a Taco Bell, a coffee shop, big-ass concession stand and the Vivid Lounge, where you can throw back some cocktails. Ni-i-i-ice.

I liked the movie. Edward Norton, Jessica Biel (definitely climbing up my chart these days) and Paul Giamatti. It was a different sort of period piece and I think that is the hook. Well acted, but the credits revealed this was made in 2005. Typically when something sits on the shelf that long, it spells trouble. Combined with a Labour Day release really points to trouble. So I'm not sure what the future holds for this one, but it kept my interest.

Where We Ate

On Sunday, we walked for what seemed like forever, to eat at Johny Banana on Queen and Bathurst. They just got licensed about 10 days ago (Thank you, God!), so we're ready to roll. We were so famished, we absolutely destroyed the plate of nachos. They were awesome. I had this one beer drink with lots of spices in it, then switched to Negra Modelos while waiting for our favorite Torontonian, Fun Frank.

Fun Frank and Nance were going to join us from his family's palatial estate in Woodbridge, and they finally arrived at 6:00. Since we got there around 4:00, I thought I'd wait till they arrived to order my meal. Gale in the interim had a cream of cilantro soup that was great. When they finally got there, we had some mojitos, but FF wanted to show us around. I was a bit disappointed I didn't get a meal, but will go there next time. Great music, BTW.

FF took us to this place further west on Queen called Squirrely's, where he used to blow off work and go drink in the afternoon. This would be considered a dive, but it was cheap and I got to drink beer while sitting on a couch in case I needed to sleep. So cheap, we had a pitcher and pizza for $17. In Toronto, that's cheap. Then FF took us on a driving tour up and beyond Yorkville, etc. and it was nice to get a feel of the Uptown area where I have never ventured before.

There were a lot of places that were closed on Labour Day. I wanted to try the Italian place, Marinela's, but they were normally closed on Sundays and took advantage of the holiday and were shuttered on Monday. So, our second choice was Smokeless Joe on John Street. This was a unique joint. Only a 30-seater at basement level. It was disconcerting at first to be in a place that had no music or TV playing. Just the sound of people talking, which requires an adjustment, believe it or not.

But they had lots of beers. I mean lots. I had some Durham ESBs, an Ontario beer, and they were good and cold. My meal was red pasta, Gale had a salad and we had some bruschetta beforehand. We got some pie and ice cream to go. This was a nice relaxing place to go after a long day, but we definitely had our chaperone hats here. Food was very good.

After Tuesday's game, we headed up Yonge on the subway to Bar Volo, around the corner from the Wellesley subway station. Bar Volo has $4 pints on Mondays, but was closed for the holiday and switched that to Tuesday this week. The kitchen closed at 11:00, but we were able to sneak in an order of bruschetta (Joe's was better) and had a pizza slice/salad combo from their late night menu. Pizza was just OK, salad very good, the beer excellent. Nice atmosphere here with jazz in the background, nice patio, nice spot. Cannot beat $4 points in T.O. though, although I wish the food was better.

And to break out of the Tim Horton's mode for breakfast, on Tuesday we went to the Pickle Barrel in The Atrium on Bay. I recall going here with my Dad 10 years ago when we wanted a big breakfast, and this place always delivers.

Andy Warhol: Supernova

No, not RockStar: Supernova, but the Warhol exhibit at the Art Gallery of Ontario. BTW, the AGO is going under a major redesign by Frank Gehry. This was an outstanding exhibit. The guest curator was the Canadian director, David Cronenberg, and he delivered an excellent commentary on the handhelds that walked you through the exhibit. This was from the period of 1962 through 1964.

This covered some of his pieces and films made during that time. The images were a contrast of celebrities with darker images of people meeting terrible fates. Warhol assumed the careers of all celebrities would meet some terrible end, while others less famous could gain fame by meeting a terrible end to their own existence.

Celebrity images consisted of Jackie Kennedy, Liz Taylor, Troy Donahue and Elvis Presley in his "Flaming Star" cowboy outfit. The darker images included an automobile wreck in "Five Deaths", two women killed by bad tuna in "Tunafish Disaster" which is humorous if you think about it, and "Foot and Tire" which consisted of someone getting run over by one of those big industrial vehicles with the big-ass tires. A real contrast.

The films were absurdly interesting pieces of art. "Couch" was something where Warhol filmed people who were allowed to do anything on a couch at The Factory. No rules, do what you want. The first images I saw were 4 people eating bananas kinda slowly. Another time, a menage a trois broke out.

"Screen Tests" consisted of 4-minute films where people (some celebrities, some not) would sit in front of a camera for that length of time, again staying in frame, but doing what they want. Some stared, I saw one chick open up a stick of Doublemint and start chewing. Way out there stuff, but really cool. They had close to 30 of these in a continuous loop.

"Blow Job" was fairly self-explanatory. He filmed the recipient, not the gifter, so you see his expressions throughout the experience. This one was 41 minutes long. No, I didn't watch the entire film.

"Kiss" was a 54-minute film of guess what? A guy and a girl kissing. The guy had a large mouth like a bass. Christ, I thought he may swallow her head at one point.

"Sleep" was the film where Warhol filmed a guy sleeping. This version was close to 6 hours. A very interesting WTF?

There were other selections as well, but this was an incredible show.

Where We Shopped

One of the main places where we shopped was, of course, at Lush. Two stores in the GTA, one on Queen, one in Eaton Centre. Hit 'em both. This was a stockup special to save shipping costs. Great smells.

The other was at IKEA. Two stores in the GTA, one in Etobicoke, while we went to the one in Burlington on the way back home. Barely made it there, because it's awfully confusing from the highway. You see it from the road, but like the Holy Grail, how do you find it? Where are those damn flags? Miraculously, I kept swearing to a minimum and we made it in.

Those pillows from the Sheraton made me do a reassessment, so I bought some pillows there. And I didn't have to assemble them! I slept on them last night. They are great.