Since it was 06/06/06, I decided to catch the 4:50 showing of "The Omen" at the Regal Beagle in Hudson, only 2 minutes from my desk to their door. Plus, it was Free Popcorn Tuesday, in Summit County you can get Mello Yello (the Medium is 44 oz., "Yikes!") and nothing ever gets released on a Tuesday. Anyhow, I'm the oldest person there, as several kids show up. But it's a different kind of kid. You know you're in Hudson when no one laughs at the preview for "Little Man". Typically the Cinemark Valley View crowds laugh at that one, with the obligatory, "I gotta see that one." The trailer that really caught my eye was Ali G's "Borat" movie. That one has major laugh potential.

Anyhow, "The Omen" begins and my God, it's a virtual word-for-word version of the original. Who knew? I mean it was the same writer as the original and I think he handed the original script in with a different colored folder or something. It's nuts. The only reason this was remade was because of 06/06/06. (See Gus Van Sant's "Psycho" for reference).

We're cruising through this remake. Liev Schrieber, who I want to eulogize me, and Julia Stiles receive Damien. BTW, Stiles is way too young for this role. All of a sudden, Damien's nanny hangs herself at his birthday party. But that allows Mia Farrow to take that job. Stiles is starting to wonder of Damien is strange. Julia, the answer is "Yes, you clown!" We find out Damien does not like churches, he never gets sick and when he visits the zoo, the animals seem to not like him very much.

Meanwhile, Pete Postlethwaite plays the priest who keeps calling Liev "Mister Torn", not Mister Thorn. Pete warns Liev that Damien is no good, but it takes him about two or three scenes to spit it out that his kid might be the Antichrist. Next time, e-mail him. Of course, the fashion photographer who has been chronicling all of this mayhem via his camera is starting to get suspicious.

Then it happens. Right after the scene where old Pete gets impaled, weird things happen with the movie. It's 6:00 and the next reel will take us through 6:06:06 p.m. That reel comes on and it's upside down and backward! At first, the crowd thinks maybe another dream sequence, but after about 20 seconds, we realize Liev and photo guy are hanging from the ceiling and talking like the dwarf from "Twin Peaks". Next time, you see me, I'll make those sounds. People start laughing and it is kinda funny. Then it gets old as we realize it ain't gonna stop.

The house lights come on. The manager tells us that she has to let the whole reel play out, it'll take some time, but here's a free pass for your next visit. Oh, you can stay and we'll pick it up from where it left off. But the flick was inane and I knew how it ended, so I left before photo guy got decapitated.

The manager also told us that the first showing had a reel sequence of "Omen", "Omen" "Omen", "X-Men", "Omen", so a replacement reel was flown in for our viewing. No Armageddon stuff, just strange coincidences, I'd say.

Meal of Links

Amazon.com has DVD Decision 2006 enabled for voting. They are looking for the top vote-getter to be released on DVD. Some good stuff here. The really bad "Gymkata", the criminally cut-up with Joe Jackson-soundtracked "Mike's Murder" starring Debra Winger (who was Sandra Bullock before Sandra Bullock was Sandra Bullock for me), and "The Hand" with "Carny" and "Looker" tossed in for good measure!

Road rage is a common psychiatric disorder. "It figures...on the fuckin' cellphone." There, I feel better already.

First news of AIDS hit 25 years ago.

Exercise Yard

The Tribe took a UCLA pitcher in the first round today. And it's not Jelly Selden.

Visitor

35 Across: Homer Simpson's son (4 letters) Answer: Bart