It's Opening Day and still trying to recover from last year's final week collapse.

What better way to also recover from seeing pictures of Teri Hatcher canoodling with Ryan Seacrest, or from the mentally-challenged guy at Happy Dog who "snuck a peek" at me in the bathroom on Friday (a mere 24 hours from the peepee credo) than to slip on the old Yankee Haters cap and know that next year is finally here.

Per usual, I did not pay much attention to the Tribe during Spring Training. I imagine all of the stiffs hit .400 and the pitchers were throwing 100 mph. But, to remind everyone, the games don't really count. That's why they are known as exhibition games. However, I have consulted the Magic 8 Ball and have a vision, no matter how bifocalled it might be, of how the Indians will fare.

BTW, management has set us up like Carmen Policy, he of "we need to take a step back to get better" fame. If I hear, "we may be better than last year, but not win as many games" one more time, I may have to take drastic, perhaps, illegal action upon said party.

I see us solid at the normal positions:

Victor Martinez, Travis Hafner, Jhonny Peralta, Ronnie Belliard, and Grady Sizemore. That's five positions that should pose no problems. Martinez had a good year after an abysmal start. Hafner and Sizemore are also stars. Peralta had a really good year and no one turns the double play better than Belliard, who has developed into a good hitter. No problems there.

Now for the other postions.

Third Base: Aaron Boone. Traditionally a slow starter, he started like he was in a perpetual school zone last year. Effcectively killed us for three months at the start and September at the end. Can't be worse than last year, can he?

First Base: Ben Broussard/Eduardo Perez platoon. Perennial whipping boy Ben Broussard has hung up the guitar during the regular season. Let's hope he's more than a banjo hitter this year. Perez is the son of Tony Perez, whose nickname was "Dog". Let's hope he hits better than last year's dog, Jose Hernandez. I hold not much hope here and we may see Martinez and Hafner get more time at first.

Left Field: Jason Michaels. I heard Matt Underwood refer to him as "J-Mike" the other day. Hence, I hate him already. I hear the club talk about him and Ryan Ludwick pops into my head for some reason. Seems to have plate discipline, no power, but can he be a regular?

Right Field: Casey Blake. Like Michael Myers, this guy just won't leave. Along with Boone, he absolutely killed us for most of last season. There is something to be said for loyalty by the team to a guy and I guess Casey is a GCG, "Good Clubhouse Guy". Let's hope there is a really short leash on him this year.

Bench: It consists of Ramon Vazquez, Todd Hollandsworth and Kelly Shoppach and whoever does not start at first that day. Pardon me for yawning.

Starting Pitching: C.C. Sabathia, Paul Byrd, Cliff Lee are solid. We should get at least 45 wins here. Jake Westbrook is someone I don't like, but he's produced the last two seasons. How? I have no idea. Should be OK there. Jason Johnson, our resident diabetic, has talent, but has a reputaion as an "innings-eater". My definition of that term is a guy who pitches lots of innings, badly. Not convinced.

Bullpen: I think we lost too much here. Arthur Rhodes and Bob Howry were pretty damn good last year. Rhodes was unhittable early and Howry carried us the last six weeks of the season. Bob Wickman can't be aces like he was last year, can he? I think Danny Graves will help. I'm pleased with Scott Sauerbeck, Rafael Betancourt and Fernando Cabrera. It comes down to Guillermo Mota. "G-Mo" (OK, I made that up) needs to be the set-up guy that he was for Eric Gagne for the Dodgers. If not, it'll be an endless parade until we find someone. That may be Graves or Cabrera, we'll see.

So, it appears we have some question marks. Remember the last two months of the season we hardly lost. I can't see us repeating that performance. I think we'll win 91 games, finish second behind the White Sox and not make the playoffs.

Meal of Links

Chris Farley's back. Sort of in a Yul Brynner kind of way.

Wow, interesting news. Celebrities read. They actually read books. Speaking of books, since baseball season is here, I started Bill Simmons "Now I Can Die In Peace". It made me laugh out loud a few times already. And, of course, he recounted the playoff game where Pedro came out of the pen and shut us down. That was the "Dear Mike Hargrove, Here's your 18 dollars. Signed, Troy O'Leary" game. God, that was tough to take.

"Call 9-1-1. And Super-Size me." 21 percent of Vegas is obese? Good God, that seems like a lot of buffet regulars.

Exercise Yard

Cleveland got a terrific show with last night's Brewster-Liakhovich fight at the Bart. It was great to see a heavyweight fight that actually contained action. Liakhovich looked like he was done in the seventh, when he took a knee late in the round. But he came back from that point and pounded out a unanimous decision going forward to win the belt. And all of Belarus celebrates.

It was tough to see Brewster lose to a guy ranked 13th, as the heavyweight division can't seem to find one guy who'll step up and become the undisputed champ.

Visitor

None. Need I remind you, it's Opening Day.