Saturday, December 24, 2005

Randomness from today's Browns home game:

Due to several cancellations for a myriad of reasons, I found myself going solo to today's Browns game. Browns Version 2.3 was coming off an uninspiring win over the Raiders. The opponent: Hated rivals, the Pittsburgh Steelers. Going in, the plan was to see how long I could take it. If it was a good game, I'm in for the duration, if it was a shitty game, I'm out. Quickly. Before the game, I did my version of "Sunday, Bloody Sunday". Except it was Saturday and I had lots of Bloody Marys. I mean lots. So I felt pretty good going to the game.

The weather was highly unusual for December. Sunshine early, a bit overcast. The temperature zooming towards 45 degrees.

The giveaway: The Browns put on the Scrooge hat and gave away nothing.

Not many smells, except that of the Browns defense, offense and special teams.

The Browns are not a very good team. A game like today points that out in spades. The atmosphere was electric before the game. Football is a sport like no other because of the buildup to the start of the game. The Steelers come out and everyone starts booing and then a few Browns come out of the tunnel and you hear these waves of cheers rumbling through the park. It's pretty cool. The Browns then chose to introduce the special teams, which I've always considered a buzzkill. Fans don't get charged up watching the introduction of Mason Unck. Then the game had to start. Aye carumba.

The G.E. Smith Band was in session. The tune in the spotlight was "Jingle Bell Rock".

Tame crowd in Section 345. Although it amazes me that even when we are getting our asses handed to us, Browns fans will continue to shout, "Pittsburgh Sucks", as if it somehow demonstrates superiority.

Best line from a random (I have no idea the context of why this was shouted): "Are you male or female?"

Oddest Browns jersey: 54 ANDRADAVIS with no space between ANDRA and DAVIS.

Best shirt: OK, I laugh when I see Spongebob flipping off people with "Fuck Pittsburgh".

I actually bought a hot dog that wasn't bad.

The Village Idiot, Jeff Tanchak, got his mike problems fixed and wished everyone a "Merry Christmas".

Best Browns play: Still waiting.

Too many Terrible Towels were waving today. Looked like the home crowd dumped lots of tickets to their Steeler brethren.

Best Fan Cam picture: A female holding a sign that read: "My boyfriend is a Steelers fan...so I left him at home."

Worst stat: The Browns had 22 yards in the first half.

2nd worst stat: The Browns attempted to throw on first down on five of their first six possessions.

3rd worse stat: The Browns offense totalled 178 yards, while the defense gave up 457.

The Browns suffered an old fashioned ass whuppin' today. If there was a bright spot, I failed to see it. The Browns lose an ugly one, 41-0, go to 5-10, and wrap up the season next week with the home finale against the Ravens. BTW, I left at halftime and arrived in front of my HDTV to see Willie Parker bust one up the middle for 80 yards.

Meal of Links

Bin Laden's niece is in GQ. The result: A very funny Fark thread.

You knew that Christmas sales were disappointing, didn't you? The Browns can't stop the run and Christmas sales are always disappointing.

Mariah Carey ties Elvis Presley with her 17th No. 1 single. Doesn't seem right.

Exercise Yard

Mark Cuban has a statistical analysis of back-to-back games in the NBA. Needless to say, most teams are not very good in Game 2.

Visitor

14 Down: TV financial advisor Suze (5 letters) Answer: Orman

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