The Browns have completed their first three rounds of the 2011 NFL Draft. Honestly, who knows how any of these guys will turn out. But we hope and we pray the front office knows what it is doing. Although many teams have gone from last to first in the NFL, we have never felt this phenomenon, as the Browns are perennially in last.

First rounder Phil Taylor from Baylor was allegedly the best run stuffer in the draft. Since we haven't stopped the run since 1999, I see this is a good development.

Jabaal Sheard from Pitt was their first pick in Round 2. A defensive end who played in a 4-3, by golly. The Browns addressed a need with this pick. He once "threw a dude through a window", but we're willing to overlook that. He was a captain at Pitt and Big East Defensive Player of the Year. Shitty against the run, but that's why Phil is here.

Greg Little is a receiver from North Carolina, who was suspended last year. Did UNC have a draft pick who actually played last season? Anyhow, he looks like he has the size and his combine numbers look good. Strong, but not lightning quick, and isn't the greatest route runner. The Browns addressed another need with this pick. Unfortunately, they still have about 50 more needs.

All the picks are profiled here.

Meal of Links

Since the DOJ shut down the big online poker sites, online pros face a dilemma. You can move out of tehe country and maintain the lifestyle you have now. Or move near a casino and play live games. Each has its own drawbacks.

We've all been here before. Hey, maybe $30 for that early DirecTV showing isn't a bad thing.

I didn't see it. But The Big Picture does the Royal Wedding. And the other commoners who got married today. Did you see what the Guardian did? Online users could click for a Republican version or a Royalist version.

The Steely Dan Infographic Project. Today, it's "Change Of The Guard". Click the title for a listen. Earlier this month they asked the musical question, "Is there gas in the car?".

Speaking of older acts, have you seen the lineup for this year's Rib Cookoffat Jacobs Pavilion at Nautica? Seether, Collective Soul and Bruce Hornsby. Bruce will test my theory that his music always sounds better on a rainy day. The way this spring is going, that may not be a stretch.

Speaking of the NFL Draft. Thursday night's ratings were down. On both ESPN and the NFL Network.

'90s film nostalgia. Why exactly?

Exercise Yard

Did you see it? Carlos Santana hit a walkoff grand slam to beat the Tigers. I said earlier in the week, I saw him not swing twice when he had a fastball count. Uh, he swung today.

The Indians are now 18-7. There are now 137 games left. Do the math. Cooling off to .500 the rest of the way puts them at 86 wins. In 7 to 10 days, we may have to start thinking ahead.

Visitor

10 Across: 1970 NBA expansion team (4 letters) Answer: Cavs

I survived Dyngus Day. Yes, Mardi Gras for the Polish was so successful, it will now marked with a permanent spot on the calendar. Or should I say, drinking calendar. Locally, it joins St. Patrick's Day, Opening Day, any Browns home game, and Cinco de Mayo as an excuse to drink in the afternoon when you'd ordinarily be at work or lounging around on a weekend.

We took part in the Parkview Nite Club portion of the proceedings. Big Chuck was there in his Certain Ethnic Man outfit. There was a Miss Dyngus Day complete with a crown of sausages.

The crowds later on at Happy Dog and Reddstone were reported to be big, as well. So, I assume next year (April 9), it might be expanded or even more crowded.

Meal of Links

The President is an American. Whoo hoo! Now it's on to his college transcripts and Selective Service records for the non-believers. Where are Trump's tax returns?

"Celebrity Apprentice" has one of the largest Democratic audiences. Trump, with his "China is raping our country" shtick, is literally driving away its audience.

I think Jake Vale is funny. I laugh all the time at these.

Peyton Hillis is the Madden NFL 12 cover boy. Let the hatred begin.

Here is the Lollapalooza lineup. Thumbs up for Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr.

Chain restaurants with the fattest meals. I'm glad I've not had any of them.

Good stuff with Rowdy Roddy Piper. Loved that guy. Great entertainer in the ring.

Tom Durkin bows out as the Triple Crown announcer. He cites stress. I don't blame him, especially in the Derby. You got 20 horses and have to mention them all. By the time you do that and get back up front, God knows what might happen. And, heaven forbid, you call a horse late, which he has done. Not as easy as it seems.

Tom Durkin Calls a Race



Exercise Yard

I took my Dad to the Indians game last night. The opponent was the hated Kansas City Royals. The bottom line is if they pitch and hit like they did last night, they'll hang in the pennant race for a while.

Pitching good news? Justin Masterson, not at his best, gets into the 7th, allowing only three runs. Struck out 7 and walked 2. Oh, Melky Cabrera drilled a homer and got to stare it down, but that was about it. Vinnie Pestano then got out of an 8th inning, based loaded jam without giving up any runs. I said when he came in that I didn't trust him yet. I may have to change my thinking.

Pitching bad news? Tony Sipp looks like he's back on the slippery slope after dominating for three weeks.

Hitting good news? When you hit five homers in a game, almost everyone looks good. Homers from Jack Hannahan (who hit 2), Matt LaPorta, Grady Sizemore and Shin Soo Choo. All of them smoked.

Pitchers are going to have to go back to the old book on Grady Sizemore, because they are pitching him using the 2009-10 book and he is just killing everything. On his second double, he was motoring around first like the old Sizemore and should have had a triple, but the third base coach, Steve Smith, held him up. They need to let him loose.

Choo's homer came off the first pitch from Lewis Jackson. It's as if Choo told the ball, "Where have you have been all spring?" Absolutely crushed it and pretty much clinched the game.

Hitting bad news? Orlando Cabrera isn't a very disciplined hitter and it's starting to show. His average is in decline. And Carlos Santana is now looking at fastballs when he has a hitter's count. A 2-1 fastball, with men on, from Hochevar and he never moved the bat off his shoulder. Uh-oh.

But it was a good win. There were only 9620 in attendance (the Monsters drew more next door) and it felt even emptier. But I got cheap seats behind the Indians dugout through StubHub and they even had the $4 concession value built in. So we opted to get super dogs. And they were good. The threat of rain was gone and it was most enjoyable to watch that victory.

BTW, SI has a feature on Choo. Very complimentary piece.

Visitor

6 Across: Texas Rangers CEO Nolan (4 letters) Answer: Ryan

Happy Easter to all!

I saw a most enjoyable film today from Tom McCarthy, "Win Win". This is the third movie I've seen from McCarthy, who also directed "The Station Agent" and got an Oscar-nominated performance from Richard Jenkins (you know, the guy Adrien Brody Googled) in "The Visitor". This one, by far, had the most laughs in it.

"Win Win" stars Paul Giamatti, as ever, as a lawyer whose business may not be doing so well these days. He also coaches wrestling at the local high school. Through a series of circumstances, a kid who decides to leave his Mom and live with his Grandpa (Burt Young, one of Giamatti's clients), ends up living with Giamatti's family. Did I mention the kid also has fantastic wrestling ability? You know, he's from Ohio.

This movie hits a home run (pins everyone?), because it's casting is spot on. Amy Ryan is Giamatti's wife. Jeffrey Tambor shares a business office with Giamatti and is the assistant coach. Bobby Cannavale, much like in "The Station Agent", provides lots of laughs. Rose from "Two and a Half Men" plays the wrestler's drug-addicted Mom and the woman of the crime family on "Justified" makes a small appearance as a lawyer. The wrestler, Alex Shaffer, has this Zen-like attitude, but gets to run the gamut of emotions, as well.

No complaints here. I thought it was well worth the time.

Meal of Links

David Simon vs. Mitch Landrieu. And why those houses in the "Treme" ads came down.

Tax the rich? It's hard, because they have clout. We do not.

Poor Slider



Who killed cap and trade? That really did fizzle out quickly, didn't it?

ESPN and its endorsement problems. Reporters and anchors can't have them, but analysts can.

Guess the bad Nicolas Cage movie. "The title refers not only to car thefts but to your hearing." I actually forgot that I saw "Family Man" in a theater. Makes you wonder what else was playing. I think that may have been a free pass.

The story behind the cover of "Abbey Road". Sort of a "Under The Covers Behind The Music".

Exercise Yard

I stumbled upon "The Brady 6" today. This NFL Films production highlighted the career of Tom Brady against the careers of the six quarterbacks taken ahead of him in the 2000 NFL Draft.

If you recall, one of those QBs was the Browns Spergon Wynn. If ever there was a clip to expose the coaching and talent evaluation ability of one Chris Palmer, you have to see the conversation between Palmer and then-Ravens coach, Brian Billick. Remember Wynn didn't even throw for 50% in college.

I'm paraphrasing here.

Billick; "You know, the guy I'm interested in seeing is this kid Wynn."
Palmer: "Oh, he's good. You know him."
Billick: "From where?"
Palmer: "Minnesota."
Billick: "Minnesota?"
Palmer: "Yeah, you were there at the same time."
Billick: "At Minnesota?"
Palmer: "At the university."
Billick: "Oh, the university."
Palmer: "He was there at the university."
Billick: "As what?"

Me: "F-u-u-u-u-u-u-ck."

So, we have Palmer, who never visited Donovan McNabb, thought Akili Smith might be a keeper, a renowned fan of how many revolutions a football takes out of a QB's arm, trying to prove to Brian Billick that he can spot QB talent. Ugh! To think they drafted Wynn ahead of Brady is sickening. I understand, with Tim Couch still at the helm, they would have never drafted Brady, but to see Palmer on this show harkens back to how lost those early years were for the return of the Browns.

Visitor

43 Down: "Talking Straight" co-author (7 letters) Answer: Iacocca (The secret to today's puzzle? The clues and answers had nary an "e" in them)

I was at the Happy Dog tonight and requested a Johnny Cash tune. But here is the Pearl Jam version:

"Twenty Five Minutes To Go"/Johnny Cash



Meal of Links

Check out this way to grow tomatoes. But you have to build shit. It looks like this guy has those "Hampton tomatoes" that Costanza likes.

The birth of Trig Palin had been on the backburner for a long time. It's back again and Salon thinks it has debunked the conspiracy theory once and for all.

How can you not love the new Beasties video?

"Make Some Noise"/The Beastie Boys



Major League Eating treats Kobayashi like Mark McGwire. His name is banned from the Coney Island Wall of Fame.

Joe Queenan reviews "Hanna". And the career of Eric Bana.

Exercise Yard

The MLB takeover of the Dodgers is a lot more complicated than I thought. Fox gave Frank McCourt that $30 million loan everyone is talking about.

Plus, the Dodgers have sold only 17,000 season tickets for this year. That's down 10,000 from only 4 years ago. That is astounding to me.

Visitor

44 Down: "Hardball" network (5 letters) Answer: MSNBC

Happy 4/20 Day.

In case you haven't noticed, DirecTV is about to premiere Premium VOD for the price of $29.95. This allows certain studios to have their product in your home only 60 days after its theatrical release. Now, I don't know a lot, which includes: Where is all the demand for this type of product coming from?

Certainly, in another 30-60 days, you'll get the normal PPV and DVD release for a much cheaper price. Plus, if you go the hardcopy route, you own the thing. The PR on this stuff seems to include a hard-to-quantify clamoring for "movie nights". Meaning call up the family, neighbors and friends. We're too cheap or inconvenienced to go to a theater. So, we'll spend $30 on the latest Ed Helms flick for a "Movie Night" at home. WTF?

I see this scenario. Good luck with the chip-ins on the $30. And you better have good popcorn and shut these people the hell up while I'm trying to watch this on your shitty TV. Of course, within the prescribed 48-hour download period.

James Cameron and some other Directors are honked off.

Seven questions about the service.

Theater owners hate the concept.

I still like going to the theaters. Love that timpani.

20th Century Fox Fanfare



Meal of Links

"Restrepo" is such a gut-wrencher to watch. One of its co-Directors, Tim Hetherington, was killed in Libya today. Lots more online, if you are interested.

What a cool project. They want to make an app for Matthew Modine's "Full Metal Jacket Diary". I hope they meet their funding goal.

News organizations are turning more to outside help for comment moderation. Troll through cleveland.com for some local gems.

Have you thought about locating some obscure movie or music? As this article states, everything is available. Nice mention of Dylan's "Hard Rain".

I have never seen "Top Gun". Well, the 25th anniversary is coming up and it's in theaters. But not locally. Whew!

Reddit has this AMA (Ask Me Anything) Feature. I think Danny Pudi showed up recently. Today, I was thinking, crap, I remembered this kid being interviewed in the aftermath of Columbine. 12 years later (yeah, time DOES fly), it's interesting to read his thoughts.

Columbine



A chat with Morgan Spurlock on his new doc. All about the promotion. Pom being the title sponsor. His suit reminds of Greg Kinnear in "Mystery Men". Hey, Sheetz is in it! Just had lunch there on Monday. I call it "The Grassy Knoll" because, well, that's where they are located. The flick debuts here in 2 weeks.

The descent of Charlie Sheen. From the crew.

Exercise Yard

Remember the tased guy at PNC Park. There was a woman yelling in the background to stop it. Well, she's a KDKA producer and yelled other things, as well. She's guilty.

Visitor

42 Down: Thurman of "Kill Bill" (3 letters) Answer: Uma ("Uma, Jerry, Uma!")

See how Lord Football rules over everyone. Today, I found myself watching "The Reading of the Schedules". Yes, an ESPN show which was built around the releasing of this fall's NFL schedule. Maybe.

Even with the present lockout and perhaps some cancelled games later in the fall, Lord Football maintains his grip on our lives. The Browns finally get a Holmgren Factor when it comes to the schedule. Three of the first four games at home. Five of the last six games in the division, so the Browns are not of it by the end of September. Christmas against the Ravens, New Year's with the Steelers. Hardly any travel after October. Only one December and one January game at home. Could help a late season short passing game.

Meal of Links

I finally got to see Colin Quinn's Broadway show, "Long Story Short" on HBO. I gotta say, it surprised me how funny this was. I'm not saying I was on the floor, but the laughs were plentiful and it was very smart. Good stuff.

Cubes decides to get rid of some of his entertainment holdings. Seeking offers for Landmark Theatres and Magnolia Pictures.

Hitch takes on one of his favorite topics. The Royal Family. His advice to Kate Middleton? Run!

Dairy-free frozen dessert. Looks good. Some Giant Eagles have it. Of course, none near the city.

Castro resigns. You are now free to move about the country. Cubans can buy property again.

How many times have I seen this guy on a Sunday night? Catching up with Wendell Pierce.

Ten reasons to be still pissed off about the BP Oil Disaster. There's that phrase, "tar balls", again.

Versus is going to get a new name. Something with NBC in it, I'm sure.

Exercise Yard

The Indianapolis 500 has something unique this year. Four women will try to qualify.

Visitor

7 Down: College football immortal Amos Alonzo _____ (5 letters) Answer: Stagg

I want to like Diet Sun Drop, I really do. But I'm not sure about it. Sometimes it tastes really good and other times I can't wait to finish it.

Upon further review, who knew it had that much caffeine? Shit, more than Mountain Dew? Yikes. Of course, try and find the caffeine-free variety. I know Mountain Dew has caffeine-free varieties, as well, but they aren't stocked everywhere either. Looks like Canada's Diet Montain Dew is the USA's Caffeine-Free Diet Mountain Dew.

OK, next roadie to Canada includes a visit to Tim Horton's and a soda run.

Meal of Links

Michael Sarrazin died today. And they didn't even mention his greatest role, "Josh Ramsey, VD Caseworker".

Seriously, is this what being a Browns fan has become? Getting gleeful about Peyton Hillis gracing the cover of Madden '12. That's what happens when your fanbase gets pumped up by beating Pittsburgh in a 4-12 season.

Seven hotly debated movie questions. And their answers. I thought "Pulp Fiction" and "Lost In Translation" were somewhat disappointing.

What's up with Low-Sodium Campbell's Tomato Soup? It has the same sodium amount as regular tomato Soup. Ah, you need to read the label.

"Treme" starts this week. Can't wait for the John Hiatt song. We also get a look at HBO's series on horse racing, called "Luck". That's the Michael Mann/David Milch effort.

Exercise Yard

Who would have thought that two weeks into the season, Indians-Royals is a big series. For all things Royals, for years the place to go is Rany on the Royals.

Visitor

37 Down: Wrestling duos (8 letters) Answer: Tag Teams

Last week, the discussion was the Indians had to deal with lots of reasons for fans not attending. The Highlights:

A palpable hatred of the Dolans.

1994 Fan too accustomed to wins. 1964 Fan goes regardless.

The economy.

Ticket prices.

Gas prices.

Hard to support a team that has really stunk the last two seasons.

No stars on the team.

This week? People upset that Mitch Talbot went on the DL. Jeanmar Gomez returns.

See how things change when you win? Today they got homers from:

Grady Sizemore, in his first game back from serious injury.

Carlos Santana, who had hit only one ball to the outfield this past week. Sits out 2 games, hits 2 warning track flyballs on Saturday (one robbed by Adam Jones) and seems to have corrected things.

Travis Hafner. As I said, it's not 2005 Hafner, but he recommitted to getting into shape and look at his line: .354 BA, .407 OBP, .646 SLG, 1.053 OPS. That is insane!

I'll get a look at them against KC when they come back.

Meal of Links

Break up the Indians! Here is the at-bat music of the team. Grady Sizemore is into BRMC? Uh-oh, I may have to sling less arrows that way.

Five brain hacks that make you better at sports. Celebrating was one of them.

Nicolas Cage was arrested for a dispute with his wife in New Orleans. Here's how he acted during Mardi Gras.

There was a Sony factory in Sendei, the Japanese earthquake city. They manufactured HDCAM SR tape used in the film and TV industry solely in that factory. Hence, a shortage.

Hitch reads the Bible.

All about balancing the budget. Stop the Tax cuts!

Exercise Yard

Just when you think the FA Cup doesn't matter. Manchester City beat Manchester United yesterday. Then, Stoke beats Bolton today by a 5-0 score. Stoke! Biggest win in the FA Cup since 1939.

Visitor

None, on a cool Sunday.

The anniversary of the BP oil spill is around the corner. I've been reading some conflicting things about where all the BP money went. First off, was the excellent Spillionaires article that got some attention. It implies St. Bernard Parish used BP as a makeup for Katrina. This got my attention: "Flush with cash from cleanup and claims, many fishermen bought new toys, boats and trucks. Sales at the nearest Chevrolet dealer rose 41 percent."

The AP reported local governments bought items not associated with cleanup activities with BP money.

Others are not getting compensated. And attorneys general are getting involved.

Meal of Links

Maybe not the death blow to online poker in the U.S. But close. This seems like an effort to sort of clean up online poker stateside before legalizing it. But it's all very confusing.

Matt Taibbi with another gem. Per Gale, his Imus appearance. Complete with a classic Kenneth "I'm a proper citizen" Dahlberg reference from "All The President's Men".

The trouble with Twitter. Now on their third CEO in three years. Plus horrible ad revenues means they still haven't figured out how to make money off the thing.

Drug songs. Three listens worth it: Rick James, The La's and Tom Petty.

This article actually hooked me. The current state of the Royal Family.

NBA playoffs start tomorrow. Shitty weather allows for max viewing opportunities. Leitch on Carmelo.

iRobot. Beyond the Roomba.

Exercise Yard

Coco's fro.

Visitor

57 Across: University of Cincinnati team (8 letters) Answer: Bearcats

"All My Children" died today. So did "One Life To Live". If Mario Batali's show isn't dumbed down, it might...what am I saying, it's network TV. OF COURSE, it'll be dumbed down.

Forget about it. It's Loretta Lynn's birthday.

"Portland, Oregon"/Loretta Lynn



Meal of Links

Look what Taco Bell is testing. A taco with a shell made from Doritos. You may call it fast food. I call it heaven. How about a roadie to Toledo?

Yeah, Simon Cowell leaving "Idol" means criticism also left the program. "Idol" really needs him.

"Treme" starts in 10 days. The producers are trying to stop the NOLA mayor from demolishing some homes. Homes in disrepair, but used to market the show.

Great kitchens. Hardly used.

Some love for Ernie Kovacs. New DVDs are out next week.

A history of Las Vegas weddings. No word on Mexican divorces.

The films of Walter Hill. Trust me, I'm an expert on these. Matter of fact, I stayed up late a couple of months ago to watch "Southern Comfort". I will stop and watch "The Warriors" and "Streets of Fire", if they show up.

Another fave. Luc Besson.

And lastly. Test your French. It's Cannes.

Exercise Yard

How do those pros play Augusta National? Here is Kevin Streelman's yardage book from the Masters.

Visitor

16 Across: Hater of David, in Dickens (5 letters) Answer: Uriah

When I first read how small the actual budget cuts are, I felt kinda duped. Seriously, $14.7 billion? Then President Obama delivered his budget speech and I felt better.

"Just when you think you're out, they pull you back in."

Meal of Links

Mickey Rourke opens up. Seems like he's just kickin' it until his rugby movie starts. Next year.

The Sidney Lumet tribute on Turner is April 21. Seriously, you need to watch "12 Angry Men", "Network" or "Dog Day Afternoon".

The rich don't want you to know these things about taxes. Germany does it better.

Don't forget, it's Coachella this weekend. Streaming is here via YouTube. LA Times coverage is here

The Dead Milkmen make an appearance. With "Bitchin' Camaro" video. "I hope those guys have a good sense of humor and don't take us to court."

Ganga alert. Jamaica may decriminalize marijuana.

Strange, but the best rock interviews I've read lately have been in Financial Times. First, it was Roger Waters. Then, they asked a buch of questions to the Foo Fighters.

"Everlong"/Foo Fighters (on Letterman)



Smart Ass Cripple talks about adult sippy cups. He doesn't like plaid blankets either.

FIGJAM. Just a regular guy. Yep, he's like us.

Exercise Yard

When you want to know about sports and the law, you read Lester Munson. Here is his take on the Barry Bonds verdict.

Visitor

45 Down: Birch of "American Beauty" (5 letters) Answer: Birch

I finally caught up with "Lights Out" and finished the final four shows this past weekend. This was the boxing series on FX that I really wanted to be a knockout, but ended up a no decision. I think "Lights" Leary set a record for apologies by one man in a series that lasted 12 episodes. The last scene was terrific but could not make up for what seemed like weeks of plot twists and too many characters dropping in and out.

Interview with Warren Leight, the showrunner, is here. It was announced today that he is going back to "Law & Order", now that "Lights Out" has been cancelled.

Meal of Links

Some guy copyrighted the "Charge" theme years ago. You know the one, played at your favorite sports venue. Now he wants paid.

Is there a bubble out there right now? Yeah. The higher education bubble.

Congresswoman Quotes The White Stripes



Here is a movie game clocked "Clockbusters". I got 43 out of 50 after two passes through.

Sports movies that sorta stretched the truth. But Jimmy Piersall was cuckoo. If I recall, I don't think "The Rookie" acted like Jim Morris had some great career. Great scene with the speed limit sign, however.

A more measured outlook of the recovery of Gabrielle Giffords. Finally.

Exercise Yard

Half of the EPL is now owned by foreigners. Stan Kroenke is the latest, after he buys Arsenal.

Visitor

46 Down: Director Hitchcock (6 letters) Answer: Alfred

It's probably time to start talking about the Indians. I have them pegged at 75 wins this year and I've seen some things since the start of the year that may cause a bit of a spike above that, but they are certainly not going to contend for anything. Realistically, you have to throw out this recent sweep of Seattle, simply because the Mariners don't hit. Great that the Indians took care of business out there, but let's not go overboard. They didn't have to face King Felix.

And could you believe Wedge's pet, Chris Gimenez, caught today's game for Seattle? "Seattle Mariners manager Eric Wedge said Friday, April 8, that he picked C Chris Gimenez over C Josh Bard as an injury replacement for C Adam Moore (knee) due to his versatility, reports Geoff Baker, of The Seattle Times. "The biggest part of that was just his versatility, the fact he can play multiple positions for us right now," Wedge said. "That entered into it as much as anything. I was really impressed with what I saw of him this spring." This demonstrates one of my biggest pet peeves in baseball, in general, of Eric Wedge, in particular. Sure, Gimenez is versatile, but weakens virtually every position he plays by his inability to hit major league pitching, as his .160 career batting average would attest.

Hitting-wise, I know no one wants to believe it, but Travis Hafner is starting to drive the ball again. He's OPSing like it's 2006 again. The fact that he did the Indians a solid by getting into better shape this year, may go a long way in determining their season. I'm happy with what I've seen from him.

Orlando Cabrera seems to be a good pickup. I thought this was a good late off-season move by Chris Antonetti. Seems motivated and provides that good veterean presence. How come no one told me he's old "Pretzel Boy" Jolbert Cabrera's brother? He's off to a good start, as is most everyone in the lineup. Shin-Soo Choo is coming out of it, but Travis Buck's playing time will evaporate, once Grady Sizemore returns.

Let's face it, Jack Hannahan won't be hitting like this all year. I'm still waitin' for The Chiz to get the callup. But Asdrubal Cabrera, Carlos Santana and Matt LaPorta haven't embarrassed themselves at bat so far, so it looks like the strength of the club may be the hitting.

Walks are up, as are strikeouts. But they rank 3rd in hitting, and 2nd in On-Base %. Wahoo Baseball is the way to go, because slugging only ranks 7th.

Pitching. Ah, pitching. If only I had a crystal ball. All starters in their mid-20s. We've seen gems from Carmona, Carrasco and Masterson, thus far. But we've also seen a bad Carmona start, and iffy starts from Carrasco and Tomlin. That's what you're gonna get this year. If Masterson doesn't have two whole months of awful like 2010, they'll be a more solid core. But far from dominant.

I thought the relief corps was top-notch last year. Rafael Perez saved his career and Chris Perez became a reliable closer. The cast of thousands filled in rather nicely, as well. This year, Tony Sipp is playing a prominent 8th inning role.

So far, they are 4th in strikeouts and have given up only 3 home runs. And they've given up less hits than innings pitched (Thanks, Seattle). Plus, only 5 errors in 8 games.

Probably gonna take til the end of the month to really formulate an opinion of where they'll end up. I'm liking what I've seen, thus far, but there is a long way to go.

More from DiaTribe.

Meal of Links

Joe Pos talks about Manny, the best hitter I ever saw. Why do I feel like he'll show up playing somewhere with the name of "Brown"?

10 online destinations that know a lot about you. Most of those you know already.

China bites back. Say, that kinda hurt.

This guy, I think, has the perfect approach to dying. Hey, if you don't want to make a fuss while you're living, why would you want that on the way out?

BTW, the Kentucky Derby underwent a big change yetesterday. As Uncle Mo lost the Wood Memorial.

Exercise Yard

Great to see Tiger Woods in the thick of it at the Masters. Unfortunately, he wasn't even close to matching his front nine magic on the backside. Probably was too much to ask.

So many people, excluding FIGJAM, had a chance at this one. Probably not the best ever, but certainly the most fun.

Visitor

None, on a really warm Sunday.

While still looking for Worcestershire Sauce at Marc's...

My new blender finally arrived. I ended up with a Blendtec. I have never seen their infomercials, but I guess they can chew up an iPhone. They had some insane sale around the middle of March that was so good, it backed up their shipping. BTW, I'd never buy it at its original price, but the sale was too good to pass up.

I like it, because it takes the place of a couple of machines I had. But the noise it makes will allow me to wake up the neighbors once the weather gets warm.

Meal of Links

Sidney Lumet died today. What a movie legacy this guy left. I mean the guy started with "12 Angry Men". Only got an honorary Oscar after directing "The Pawnbroker", "Serpico", "Dog Day Afternoon", "Network", "The Verdict" amongst others.

New Beasties?



No offense to the Art History folks. How to get a real education at college.

Budget talks point out that old Republican myth. We are for veterans rights.

King Kenny has no idea who LeBron James is. I'm sure they'll battle it out for kingdom rights. Anyhow, LeBron is now part owner of Liverpool. He joins the owners of the Red Sox for global icon marketing purposes. This seems to be replace Dan Gilbert's entree to Asia, as Liverpool is sponsored by Standard Chartered, and is already touring Asia this summer.

WTF? Iggy on "Idol"



Seems like a contrarian opinion. But maybe Pia deserved to be voted off "Idol".

Trump's hair? The rarely executed double combover.

Exercise Yard

Watching a lot of the Masters this weekend. Curiously, FIGJAM was hardly mentioned today until this exchange:

Feherty: "At -3, with the leaders at -9, I think Phil Mickelson has a chance to win."
Falso: "Really?"

That statement by Feherty was ridiculous and even moreso after Rory McIlroy still had 5 holes to play at the time. File that under Absurd Popular Name Invoking.

As his caddy said, McIlroy is playing beautifully right now. The only knock him coming in is that he hasn't learned how to win yet. But now that he is leading by 4, that point may be moot.

It was a strange day at Augusta. No one from the bottom of the pack played well. And McIlroy was the only one up top to play well. The middle was where all the action was, but at the end of the day, those guys were still anywhere from 4 to 7 shots back. If McIlroy strings another good round on Sunday, he'll have lapped the field.

Visitor

24 Across: 2003 Cy Young Award-winning reliever Eric (5 letters) Answer: Gagne

Glenn Back is gone. Next crazy to fill the void? Donald Trump. You know, the guy who would have a budget passed already, because he would "get everyone in a a room". And, of course, because he's done deals before.

Wouldn't care about the guy, until I saw this week that 21% of Republicans in New Hampshire would vote for him if the primary were held now. How can Mitt Romney run against that? He only polled 27%.

Meal of Links

Joe Eszterhas sold a script. Can we make Cleveland look like Miami?

Speaking of budget cuts. Why not ethanol?

Is "Your Highness" the worst movie ever? We shall see.

Exercise Yard

Gloria James gets her Goose on. Hey, valet's gotta valet, lady.

Visitor

22 Across: Jack edged him out in the 1980 U.S. Open (4 letters) Answer: Isao

I think I need Glenn Beck's blackboard. Especially now that he won't be using it. This almost seems like a victory for the left, as he'll be off of Fox by the end of the year. But I think it's really a story of making up shit and people getting bored with it. Half his audience under age 50 had left. I used to laugh when Olbermann called Beck, "Lonesome Rhodes", but the truth is he was pretty much that character.

But the reason I need that blackboard is I finally did my taxes. Just in time for the looming government shutdown. I'd like to trace where my refund is heading. Or stalling.

Meal of Links

The thing about the Paul Ryan budget is it really cuts back funding on low-income programs. Probably close to 70% of the cuts are there. That's a huge difference from what the Budget Commission proposed. Of course, the Democrats hopped all over the budget, but you have to admit, it's the closest thing to serious reform we've seen in a while. That's why the D's need a plan of their own. Come up with an alternative to that $2.9 trillion in low-income cuts and show how it can be done. Like taxing the highest 2%. How long will it take to get that in there.

Playing with Spam. I'm always surprised when someone says they've never had the stuff.

Did you see the list of material selected by the National Recording Registry? Steely Dan's "Aja" made it. Reminds me to listen to that again soon. "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" and "Stand By Your Man" also recognized. De La Soul, Mort Sahl and Al Green, if you need 'em.

2011's Ten Ugliest Cars. There are some bad ones here.

You asked for it. The Complete Guide to Jerry Seinfeld's Sneakers. Chronologically, I might add.

Mark me down for this one. The Bill Hicks doc is starting its release this week. Better get here soon.

Will Ferrell. MeetGary Sanchez.

The Grammys got revamped again. No more Best Hawaiian, Native American or Cajun/Zydeco awards.

The road to Nashville ends. In Nashville.

Exercise Yard

Speaking of docs, did you catch that surprise 25-year look back at the 1986 Masters that ESPN ran today? Once again, had the best line ever in golf lore for me. Conversation between Jack Nicklaus and his caddie, also his son, on the 16th hole. Nicklaus stripes his tee shot on 16.

Caddie: "Be right."
Jack (bending over to get his tee): "It is."

Jack on 16 (1986)



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23 Down: His 3,000th hit was a homer (5 letters) Answer: Boggs

The first reviews of the Charlie Sheen tour are in. Let's say, they are losing, for sure. There seemed to be two camps going into this thing. One was the "I wanna see a trainwreck" camp. The other camp, which I fell in, was the more prudent approach. I mean, how exactly was he gonna entertain me, given he doesn't do stand-up, sing or dance. Especially at the prices he was charging.

Well, I guess we found out in Detroit. And, for such a bad economy, how did nearly 5,000 people in Detroit scrape up enough cash to see this circus? Maybe they were government-funded research subjects. Afterward, no one seemed to know why they were there. Or, if they were there to see a trainwreck, they could not explain why they were disappointed. Doesn't anyone find that even a teeny bit scary? From alleged adults?

Actually, the show was kinda what I surmised it might be. A question and answer session, a comic, some music, the goddesses. The Q&A obviously needs work going forward. You need a third party asking questions, then you have them ask written audience questions. Shows a real lack of planning. What I was curious to find out was he thought his use of video was going to somehow win over the crowd. For him to be booed extensively, it must have been a truly awful experience for everyone involved. Kudos to Team Sheen for keeping details under wrap before the first show.

Let's track ticket sales going forward. If Sheen continues to sell advanced tickets at a premium, he's the modern-day P.T. Barnum. If future shows are cancelled or ticket sales, at the very least, lag, there may yet be a glimmer of hope for us all.

And I like the dude. But he thinks he's Howard Beale when he's actually as disappointing as Howard the Duck. Too bad he's going down. Hard.

Meal of Links

John Kricfalusi shows us some maps of the old Warner Bros. Cartoons offices. From a Bob Clampett collection.

AMC Stubs has finally come to Cleveland. I still have my doubts, but I do find myself going there more.

Wachovia laundered drug cartel money from Mexico. They paid a fine.

Haley Barbour's wife says her husband's presidential run horrifies her. And lots of others, I presume.

Richard Manuel would have been 68 today. Listen to him on the classic "You Don't Know Me", written by Eddy Arnold and made famous by Ray Charles, amongst others.

"You Don't Know Me"/The Band



Ten promising pilots for fall. One guaranteed bomb.

Exercise Yard

What? Wrestlemania is tonight? Here's a liveblog.

Visitor

None, on a cloudy Sunday.

Opening Day 2011

Got my first look at the Indians of 2011 yesterday. Naturally, they lost. This time though, it was embarrassing. The White Sox absolutely pounded Fausto Carmona on their way to a 15-10 win. Gale and I had seats in Section 109, and I got to be "End of Row Boy".

Progressive Field was a beacon in the distance, two hours before game time.





















Things of note: Typically, everyone wants to know what's going on inside the park. No, I didn't go all the way around, but virtually everything inside has gone up in cost. Opening Day Parking, BTW, was stable. I paid $20 in the traditional Hanna Garage spot, and most places were charging that price.

Rabbi Feldman's grilled hot dog stand in right field has changed this year. It's a bigger grilled dog slathered in onions, called a Slugger Dog, and that'll set you back (gulp!) $8.50. Not sure if other grilled dog stands exist. We'll find that out later. You can get a Brat or Italian Sausage there for $6.75. Not sure about the price of vendor dogs.





















Cracker Jack is $4.00, Peanuts are $4.50, so Marc's still cannot be beat. New this year is multicolored Cotton Candy. This comes in a bag for the amazing price of $6.00. A unique concept of a product kids love, but don't like to share, at exorbitant prices! Bottles of water were $4.50 and Gatorade will set you back $5.00 a bottle.

But, what about the beer? OK, I didn't see the foreign beer stand where, in years past, you could get Guinness and others. The Leinie Lodge had $7.75 Leinenkugels.

Dad's Beer Stand, predictably, had the longest lines. You could wash down Andy Capp Fries and Beer Nuts with a 12-oz. Blatz, Gennesee, Iron City, Natural Light, Pabst, Rolling Rock, Schaefer or Stroh for $4.50. I honestly don't get the nostalgia here. There are some lousy beers in that bunch.





















Beer from a vendor? This is where the variable pricing model has run amok. You can get a 24-oz. can (yes, they are back this year) of beer for $10.00. Yes, beer has hit $10 at the park. Or you can get a 16-oz. bottle for $7.75. Even more choices, a Gennessee vendor has 24-oz. cans for only $8.00. That would be Gennesee, Genny Cream or Gennessee Ice.

Bob Feller Salute

I'll hand it to the Indians, they did a much better job with the Feller salute than with the Herb Score Tribute a couple of years back. Big time ups on the video. The team wore Number 19 uniforms in the pre-game. Mrs. Feller put the ball of the first pitch on the pitching rubber. Bunting. Balloons. Bigass Flag. As Always. Real nice stuff.





















The Game

Can we quit with the White Sox as an opener. Chicago's Mark Buehrle now has 9 Opening Day starts. Six against the Indians.

Even though I was in the park, I have yet to see the Indians score a run in person. in a tribute to Bob Feller...Redass, we did a "five-and-fly". We had good seats in right-centerfield, but our row should have been renamed Row P. Our row seated 24 people, but it might as well have been 100, because I have never had to let that many people out to buy a beer or pee in all of my years attending sporting events. Ever.

Combined with a joke of a game, where I think I saw Austin Kearns flag down seven balls in the leftfield corner and watch two homers fly over his head. And, while it was 14-0 in the fifth and watch the Tribe look at only four pitches in their half of the inning, it literally drove us to drink, cheaply, at Alesci's. Where we got to see whatever faux comeback fall short.





















White Sox kill the Tribe on Opening Day. Loss No. One, 15-10. Today, the smallest crowd in the history of the park watched them lose again. It's a shame, but that's Baseball 2011.

Meal of Links

I realize I am a bit late to this game, but I went to Outback Steakhouse for the first time on Thursday. Kind of impressed with the place. My Dad had been there before and got a 6-oz. size and enjoyed his potato soup. I opted for a 10-oz. ribeye that was chargrilled over an open flame with a baked potato and salad. At the very least, I'll consider this as a dining option and no, I have no idea why it took this long to get there.

Us polkateers went to the early morning viewing of "Polka: The Movie". So popular, the Film Fest had two showings this morning. I figured at least 300 people were there to see this one. Kind of an average movie, which suffered from some decidedly poor editing. We get it, the Slovenian neighborhood of Cleveland is in decline. They really needed more music here. It was like they got to the '70s and said OK, who still plays this stuff? If it was a history lesson, you never got the full version. Not even any "Polka Varieties" footage. Hell, even Paul Sciria was in "Kill The Irishman".

After the movie, we visited P.J. McIntyre's in West Park. Heavy Irish vibe, but really good food, liquor and beer selections here. Not a surprise, it's a popular place. I shared some Reuben Egg Rolls and followed that with some Angus Beef Sliders. Homemade chips, too.

Your cell phone as wallet. Coming soon.

Record Store Day is in two weeks. Here are the most interesting releases. Check out the new license plate in Tennessee.

It's the Ramones. Always good, no matter what is recommended.

Looks like Eddie Izzard will have another go at an FX series. "The Riches" first season was superb, I thought.

They have announced the 2011 Peabody Awards. Those you may have heard of: "Justified", "Men Of A Certain Age", C-SPAN, "Degrassi", "If God Is Willing and da Creek Don't Rise", and ESPN's "30 For 30".

How to play well with drugs. Mainly, don't mix your drugs.

New book is out. "The Oxford Book of Parodies", which asks the question, "Mickey or Bugs?" As a cynic, I am solidly in the corner of Bugs.

Exercise Yard

Who won the World Cup of Cricket? Why, that would be India.

Visitor

30 Across: Mattingly's predecessor (5 letters) Answer: Torre