Nothing beats cranking Strauss in your car via the XM Pops. All I could think of was "2001". BTW, XM has made some changes recently. Let's see, Oprah shows up in a couple of weeks. They canned MSNBC for some reason. Maybe they'll start streaming that online? They also canned most of Sporting News radio, keeping Tony Bruno and Tim Brando, and letting the rest go. That's why when you hear that WKNR has a choice between Fox and Sporting News Radio, they better choose Fox.

Meal of Links

Steve Jobs held Apple's "It's Showtime" (Jimmy Lennon, Jr. nowhere to be seen) presentation this afternoon. There are new Nanos, new iPods, a future product called ITV for the time being, and an iTunes 7.0 update. One sure-to-be-overlooked feature is the ability to have your music on more than one authorized computer, that's new. It looks like better iTunes Store searching, as well. Version 6 was definitely a step back in that regard. I really like the "Cover Flow" button, that is cool. And the ability to get the album artwork on songs from your own CDs is a nice touch. Looks like a nice upgrade from the 6.0 versions.

SmartMoney tells us when to buy just about everything. I don't get how groceries are cheaper on Sunday evenings. Duh, Sunday morning coupons!

Whoa. Luc Besson says he wants to stop making movies. I always found his films to be visually stunning from "Subway" to "La Femme Nikita" to "The Fifth Element". Still producing though, as if you thought I would not mention the "Transporter" series.

Exercise Yard

Shhh. Don't tell anyone. I still have the NFL Network. I'm waiting for Time Warner to drop the hammer on that right around Thanksgiving when the live games start.

Anyhow, I was stunned that the Browns-Saints game was one of the games chosen for replays this week. Did the Browns sign Diet Pepsi Machine yet? Other first week replays included Giants-Colts, Cowboys-Jaguars (Both seen locally here) and Patriots-Bills.

Visitor

16 Across: Actress Jennifer Jason _____ (5 letters) Answer: Leigh

Today is the fifth anniversary of 9/11. It's a bit sad that for many people, myself included, this day has already reached "just another day" status. I probably watched more football than any 9/11 remembrances today. People do not want to relive this event, given the numerous well-done efforts that seem to fail to reach any sort of audience. I'm sure if I were in NYC I'd feel differently, but I think Middle America feels oddly disconnected to 9/11 at this time.

While we here told how this event has changed the world, it's anniversary seems to have faded faster than Pearl Harbor Day and Flag Day. I can remember when those days got their proper due for a long while. But as time marches on, not many people want to be bothered with 9/11.

Meal of Links

Charlie Babbitt must be depressed. Because "Bam! The Future of Rock and Roll" dies this week.

Football fans have long memories. A group of DC fans do not want Heath Shuler near their city, as he runs for Congress.

How bout a little MySpace history for class today? And they seemed like such nice people.

Exercise Yard

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar has a trash problem. He decided to promote good will amongst his new neighbors by dumping his trash in their yard.

Visitor

54 Down: Channel swimmer Gertrude (6 letters) Answer: Ederle

Randomness from today's Browns home game:

Gale was today's special guest. Browns Version 2.3 has high expectations coming into this season. I, for one, am not sold on Charlie Frye at QB. Oh, he'll make some good plays, but combined with an offensive coordinator who uses about 10% of the playbook, it's hard to get excited about our chances. The opponent: The New Orleans Saints. A very difficult read. With Katrina behind them, the Superdome open for business, a new coach and the drafting of Reggie Bush, are they a team on the rise? Or was last year's forgettable season a portend of their immediate future?

The weather was very nice today. Around 70 degrees, it was the coolest temperature for an opener in a long time. Some clouds, but it was the wind that was more a nuisance than anything.

Today's giveaway: One of the all-time favorites, the magnet schedule.

Section 345 was relatively tame today. We had a guy down the row from us who's been dormant for a couple of years, spring back to life today. This guy used to berate people for leaving early. Even in games we would be getting pasted by like 35 points. Finally, a younger guy got tired of his act one Sunday and I thought he was going to kill him. Anyhow, he decided to pull out the tired, poor, pathetic act of "we're not making enough noise." Jeezy creezy, if the Browns would make a first down once in a while, maybe we'd be fired up. Then when we started playing better in the second half, he was quiet. Funny how that works.

No smells today, except for the calls of our offensive coordinator. We gained a total of...ahem...186 yards.

The passing game today stunk. Nothing long. Very little of medium range. Mostly, it was 6-yard square-ins off a three-step drop. Bah!

The G.E. Smith Band has been canned. O Happy Day.

Worst Browns play: This could actually be termed my Pet Peeve of the Year and it's only Game One. Twice the Browns had a third down and less than a yard. Now if Reuben Droughns is your number one back, shouldn't we expect him to be in the game, especially in the first half, in these situations? And shouldn't we expect him to run the ball up the middle on those plays? Well, our braintrust decided to insert the immortal Lawrence Vickers into the game at those moments and had him run two sweeps. Needless to say, they both failed. Ugh! One other time, on a fourth-and-one, they threw the ball! Oh, it was completed, but negated by a penalty. I hope this does not reflect a lack of confidence in power football.

Best Presidential play: "Bush tackled by McKinley, Washington and Jackson."

Best line from me: I know it's a rerun, but before the game, I said, "How come when I hear that two priests bought a retirement home in Florida, the two words that pop into my head are "naked swimming"?"

Best line from the little girl next to me, whose father noted they were sitting next to a drunk (not me): "I think they were tailgating."

Oddest Browns jersey: Semper Fi 1

Best shirt: Got teeth? b/w Roethlisberger 7 T-shirt.

No in-game purchases, much to Gale's dismay. We ended up post-game at the Happy Dog for some BBQ pork chops.

Marky Nolan gave his weather update today while wearing a ballcap. He looked very much like the Village Idiot, Jeff Tanchak.

Best Browns play: This is a tie between Dennis Northcutt's 31-yard punt return in the second quarter and Chrlie Frye's scramble a la Curly Howard for a short pass play in the third, I think it was.

I actually saw a deely bopper at the game.

Best Fan Cam picture: I dunno, I still have a soft spot for the three-headed dog guy.

Worst stat: Charlie Frye was the Browns leading rusher.

2nd worst stat: Lawrence Vickers-2 rushes, none yards.

3rd worse not-so-much-a-stat: Although Ted Washington's name was called quite a bit, it appeared the Saints could run up the middle anytime they felt like it. Strangely, when Jeff Faine played here, we couldn't run up the middle. Now he moves to the Saints and he can push people out of the way up the middle? And where was Orpheus Roye? It may have been the smallest impact he's had on a game in quite some time. Reggie Bush is fast. I believe I'll be able to brag years from now about being at his first game. He held up very well, while doing everything, including returning kicks.

What can I say? The Browns rushing stats were padded by Frye's scrambles, otherwise that would have been an abysmal effort. In fact, it was an abysmal effort. The passing game was non-existent. The defense kept the Saints out of the endzone for the most part, but gave up too many third-down conversions, allowing some drives to continue. Once more, 150 yards on the ground is a killer. Both Bush and Deuce McAllister looked good running the ball for Nawlins. Having said that, Bodden and Jackson stood out on defense for the Browns.

Meal of Links

Has pop culture changed since 9/11. Not really. The characters may have changed but not the stories.

I like to look at Penelope Cruz. I do not like to hear Penelope Cruz speak English though.

The chairman of HP will probably have to resign. If you want to investigate leaks, that's OK. Just don't have the folks you hire perform illegalities.

Exercise Yard

The greatest tennis player in quite some time, Roger Federer, wins another U.S. Open. No doubt, the best artist with a racquet since Johnny Mac.

Visitor

None, it's NFL Kickoff Sunday.

Today's Plain Dealer sports page had what may have been the lamest attempts at humor since my "relish-catch up" joke last night. These are really bad.

In Bill Livingston's column about the OSU quarterback, Troy Smith, the headline reads:

"Smith's not Young, but he ages well"

That is a major groaner referring to last year's Texas QB, Vince Young, and the fact that Smith has a different approach to the position and has matured in his starting role.

The next one was more heinous. In Paul Hoynes' notes column about Aaron Boone, the headline is:

"Boone to tinker and see if there's ever a chance"

This could be the all-time stretch to get a "Tinker-to-Evers-to-Chance" reference in a headline. What is their target demographic here, 72? An amazingly bad headline.

Meal of Links

Borat has a little problem at his film premiere in Toronto. At least he arrived in grand style.













Here are major news stories the media is ignoring. Some of these are pretty juicy.

In case you want your newborn to have hair. It's the baby toupee.

Exercise Yard

The EPL started again after the international break. I saw Sheffield United and Blackburn Rovers play a crappy game. But Bay Village's own Brad Friedel stopped two penalties and then had a game saver in extra time to salvage a nil-nil tie.

Arsenal could only draw with Middlesbrough and Man U. beat Tottenham in the other Fox Soccer Channel games. After the Browns game tomorrow, I'll get my first look at Randy Lerner's other team, Aston Villa.

Visitor

44 Across: Oscar winner Signoret (6 letters) Answer: Simone

Have you ever seen anyone back away any faster from being linked with Jessica Simpson than John Mayer? She fires her publicist, he says he was used to promote record sales. I like him, but can a link to him really have that kind of an effect?

I have to spend more time at the hospital again, as my Dad went in for his prostate procedure yesterday. Fairly routine stuff, but he'll be in until Saturday. I guess if he can pee on his own, they'll send him home. I think he was more nervous about this one than his heart operation, because it involved his boy part region. But he told the people in the operating room he didn't want to hear the word "Oops." while he was in there and he got through it OK.

Meal of Links

It appears as if the US is cracking down on that most heinous of industries...online gambling. That's why betting on the ponies online is safe. It's legal.

Talk show host in Nawlins thinks he may have committed the perfect crime, killing his wife. But he forgot about the checklist detailing the crime. Whoops.

Suri Cruise rumors. Most of them false.

Video of the Week

This is why YouTube is such a great site. This isn't so much about making your own music video, it's making your own music video of Randy Newman's "Story of a Rock n' Roll Band". I love Randy Newman and he's at his satirical best here, poking fun at ELO. So, it's not things to watch in this video, but things to listen for.

My favorite line has to be "...and Bobby Joe played the big violin, the one that stands on the floor..." Again, not the greatest or even a standard issue video, but a quirky one.

Randy Newman-"Story of a Rock n' Roll Band"



Exercise Yard

Jeremy Shockey's column debuted in New York today. So8unds liek they're ready to play. Them and every other NFL team.

Visitor

21 Across: Warhol "superstar" Sedgwick (4 letters) Answer: Edie

Last night, I got back from Toronto and boy, are my legs tired. I walked and walked and walked to the point of getting old man calves. Yeow! Gale and I crammed lots of stuff to do between Sunday and Wednesday, so here's the report from the True North.

Where We Stayed

We stayed at the Sheraton Centre Toronto on the 29th floor. Her room overlooked City Hall facing North. Mine faced a bunch of buildings to the South. We got the rooms through a deal on Hotwire. Rooms were pretty good. King beds, lots of pillows, 50 channels on the tube, good bathroom. All you can ask for in a terrifically-priced room that you won't spend a lot of time in.

You cannot beat the location on Queen, which gives you easy access to just about everything in T.O. Did not set foot into the eateries at the hotel, so I don't know anything about them. Staff was OK, except for a maid that Gale had words with. A timing issue on a cleaning request. Other than that, it served its purpose.

Except we had to use the gaming remotes to operate the TVs. We had no regular remotes. They mysteriously appeared sometime on Monday.

Best elevator conversation (on Sunday):

Gale: "Did you finish the puzzle?"
Me: "No."
British Random: "I did. And I also finished the Acrostic. A rare Sunday double."
Me: "I'm still working on Saturday's."
British Random: "If you need any help, I'm in Room 2-8-Fuck-You."

He didn't really say that, but that's how it felt. I didn't have the heart to tell him I was referring to the Wonderword.

"The Man Who Loved Tim Horton's"

Earlier in the year, when Tom Gordon was kicking ass in Fantasy Baseball, I was "The Man Who Loved Tom Gordon", a la Stephen King's book. Well, I've changed my name.

Noted Torontonian, Fun Frank, told us to stop at Tim Horton's on the way up. Now, Timmy ("Timmy...Timmah...Timmy") is all over the place, except for Cleveland, it seems. Columbus has him, although they have everything these days. Anyhow, Tim Horton's is a coffee shop that sells donuts and sammies at lower-than-Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts rates. Fun Frank says the only way they will open in this area is when they have 25 franchises sold between Detroit and Erie, so they can pop them open at the same time. Otherwise, the market won't get any.

Out first stop was at Dunkirk, NY. Risking life and limb, because there was a state trooper killer on the loose nearby, we went to Tim Horton's. Real mugs and plates inside. Regular coffee cups for on-the-go folks. I had a really good egg-and-cheese breakfast sammie and something called a Butter Caramel Hot Smoothie. I don't drink coffee. But this is a decaf, non-coffee thingie. Instant addiction.

I also had a Raspberry Hot Smoothie later that day and wanted to try a French Vanilla one near our hotel on Monday, where this conversation took place:

Me: "Medium French Vanilla Hot Smoothie."
Worker: "Mjweffbvuhiatyvwi."
Me: "Medium French Vanilla Hot Smoothie."
Worker: "Mjweffbvuhiatyvwi."
(At this point, I sense the Hot Smoothies are not working. Not clear on what is actually happening, I go back to the standard.)
Me: "Medium Butter Caramel Hot Smoothie."
Worker then rings up order. The Labour Day Parade could not start fast enough at this point.

I think we stopped at five of these. Border crossing, Chinatown (a goldmine), near our hotel, after a Fun Frank driving tour on Bay, I think, and the shrine in Dunkirk. Sadly, I'm eating Timbits (little donuts) right now. My last connection to Tim Horton's for a while, I'm afraid.

Indians Games

We went to not one, but two Blue Jays-Indians games, at what is now called the Rogers Centre. The roof was open both days. The most affordable tickets were on the 200-level for $38. This is comparable to club seating at Jacobs Field and extends foul pole to foul pole. This is where we sat at the afternoon game on Labour Day.

But we didn't sit in our seats. There were two openings, one each in right and left field, that had tables and a bar in the back. Well, we parked it at the one in right and never left. Sat up front and had beer and a good view, with a comfortable chair. Great way to watch a game. This was a game where Pizza Pizza had a contest if they struck out 7 Indians, you get a free slice. Incredibly, we passed this in the fifth. We lost a tough one, as B.J. Ryan came on for a rare two-inning save with a final score of 4-3.

We also got a discount and went to the CN Tower after the game. It's high.

Tuesday night's game was Halladay vs. Sowers, a great matchup. We scalped tickets and got seats 12 rows behind home plate. Better hot dogs down there. Sowers was matching Halladay pitch for pitch, when Bengie Molina hit a homer off of him in the 7th for a 2-1 lead. In the top of the 8th, the Tribe rallied. Garko (Poor guy. Inexplicably, he was the whipping boy for Toronto fans. A Buffalo thing?) doubled, we had a couple of nubbers that turned in to a run that tied the game. Then Andy Marte hit a grand slam to put us ahead. Sowers got a win he really deserved.

We got to see a win and a loss. Attendance was that September-we're-out-of-it type numbers. 27,000 on the holiday, 18,000 the next night. It's an interesting place to watch a game. They have lots of fan involvement and show lots of fans on the video screens throughout the game. Contests, etc., as they have an in-game host, like Al, I guess. Fun time.

"The Illusionist"

Continuing my streak of seeing a movie in Toronto, we went to see "The Illusionist" at the Paramount Theatre on John and Richmond. This is the one that has the IMAX screen and it is really a neat theatre. "Superman Returns" was on the IMAX, but we opted for a non-chaperone title. You go up this long escalator where it is movie heaven.

You have a KFC, a Taco Bell, a coffee shop, big-ass concession stand and the Vivid Lounge, where you can throw back some cocktails. Ni-i-i-ice.

I liked the movie. Edward Norton, Jessica Biel (definitely climbing up my chart these days) and Paul Giamatti. It was a different sort of period piece and I think that is the hook. Well acted, but the credits revealed this was made in 2005. Typically when something sits on the shelf that long, it spells trouble. Combined with a Labour Day release really points to trouble. So I'm not sure what the future holds for this one, but it kept my interest.

Where We Ate

On Sunday, we walked for what seemed like forever, to eat at Johny Banana on Queen and Bathurst. They just got licensed about 10 days ago (Thank you, God!), so we're ready to roll. We were so famished, we absolutely destroyed the plate of nachos. They were awesome. I had this one beer drink with lots of spices in it, then switched to Negra Modelos while waiting for our favorite Torontonian, Fun Frank.

Fun Frank and Nance were going to join us from his family's palatial estate in Woodbridge, and they finally arrived at 6:00. Since we got there around 4:00, I thought I'd wait till they arrived to order my meal. Gale in the interim had a cream of cilantro soup that was great. When they finally got there, we had some mojitos, but FF wanted to show us around. I was a bit disappointed I didn't get a meal, but will go there next time. Great music, BTW.

FF took us to this place further west on Queen called Squirrely's, where he used to blow off work and go drink in the afternoon. This would be considered a dive, but it was cheap and I got to drink beer while sitting on a couch in case I needed to sleep. So cheap, we had a pitcher and pizza for $17. In Toronto, that's cheap. Then FF took us on a driving tour up and beyond Yorkville, etc. and it was nice to get a feel of the Uptown area where I have never ventured before.

There were a lot of places that were closed on Labour Day. I wanted to try the Italian place, Marinela's, but they were normally closed on Sundays and took advantage of the holiday and were shuttered on Monday. So, our second choice was Smokeless Joe on John Street. This was a unique joint. Only a 30-seater at basement level. It was disconcerting at first to be in a place that had no music or TV playing. Just the sound of people talking, which requires an adjustment, believe it or not.

But they had lots of beers. I mean lots. I had some Durham ESBs, an Ontario beer, and they were good and cold. My meal was red pasta, Gale had a salad and we had some bruschetta beforehand. We got some pie and ice cream to go. This was a nice relaxing place to go after a long day, but we definitely had our chaperone hats here. Food was very good.

After Tuesday's game, we headed up Yonge on the subway to Bar Volo, around the corner from the Wellesley subway station. Bar Volo has $4 pints on Mondays, but was closed for the holiday and switched that to Tuesday this week. The kitchen closed at 11:00, but we were able to sneak in an order of bruschetta (Joe's was better) and had a pizza slice/salad combo from their late night menu. Pizza was just OK, salad very good, the beer excellent. Nice atmosphere here with jazz in the background, nice patio, nice spot. Cannot beat $4 points in T.O. though, although I wish the food was better.

And to break out of the Tim Horton's mode for breakfast, on Tuesday we went to the Pickle Barrel in The Atrium on Bay. I recall going here with my Dad 10 years ago when we wanted a big breakfast, and this place always delivers.

Andy Warhol: Supernova

No, not RockStar: Supernova, but the Warhol exhibit at the Art Gallery of Ontario. BTW, the AGO is going under a major redesign by Frank Gehry. This was an outstanding exhibit. The guest curator was the Canadian director, David Cronenberg, and he delivered an excellent commentary on the handhelds that walked you through the exhibit. This was from the period of 1962 through 1964.

This covered some of his pieces and films made during that time. The images were a contrast of celebrities with darker images of people meeting terrible fates. Warhol assumed the careers of all celebrities would meet some terrible end, while others less famous could gain fame by meeting a terrible end to their own existence.

Celebrity images consisted of Jackie Kennedy, Liz Taylor, Troy Donahue and Elvis Presley in his "Flaming Star" cowboy outfit. The darker images included an automobile wreck in "Five Deaths", two women killed by bad tuna in "Tunafish Disaster" which is humorous if you think about it, and "Foot and Tire" which consisted of someone getting run over by one of those big industrial vehicles with the big-ass tires. A real contrast.

The films were absurdly interesting pieces of art. "Couch" was something where Warhol filmed people who were allowed to do anything on a couch at The Factory. No rules, do what you want. The first images I saw were 4 people eating bananas kinda slowly. Another time, a menage a trois broke out.

"Screen Tests" consisted of 4-minute films where people (some celebrities, some not) would sit in front of a camera for that length of time, again staying in frame, but doing what they want. Some stared, I saw one chick open up a stick of Doublemint and start chewing. Way out there stuff, but really cool. They had close to 30 of these in a continuous loop.

"Blow Job" was fairly self-explanatory. He filmed the recipient, not the gifter, so you see his expressions throughout the experience. This one was 41 minutes long. No, I didn't watch the entire film.

"Kiss" was a 54-minute film of guess what? A guy and a girl kissing. The guy had a large mouth like a bass. Christ, I thought he may swallow her head at one point.

"Sleep" was the film where Warhol filmed a guy sleeping. This version was close to 6 hours. A very interesting WTF?

There were other selections as well, but this was an incredible show.

Where We Shopped

One of the main places where we shopped was, of course, at Lush. Two stores in the GTA, one on Queen, one in Eaton Centre. Hit 'em both. This was a stockup special to save shipping costs. Great smells.

The other was at IKEA. Two stores in the GTA, one in Etobicoke, while we went to the one in Burlington on the way back home. Barely made it there, because it's awfully confusing from the highway. You see it from the road, but like the Holy Grail, how do you find it? Where are those damn flags? Miraculously, I kept swearing to a minimum and we made it in.

Those pillows from the Sheraton made me do a reassessment, so I bought some pillows there. And I didn't have to assemble them! I slept on them last night. They are great.

Off to Toronto for a bit. Full report upon my return.

The Blue Angels are in the air today and let me say this. This is the loudest they've ever been in my neighborhood.

Great Lakes Brewing seems to be full of themselves these days. They have finally instituted a non-smoking policy on their patio. What, you say, I thought they were non-smoking for a while. Why yes, but that was indoors. Now it has extended to the oustide patio. Best Friend nailed three times on that one. The third time was pretty much the last straw and all of us had to exit before they really hated us.

Secondly, they have decided to discriminate against the non-eating tables outside. Get this, if you are there to drink outside, you get no wait service. You have to go into the bar to get your beer and bring it back out. If that's not enough of an issue, no one on the wait staff checks up on you as the evening progresses. If you change your mind and want to eat, it's almost like a formal decree has been handed down and now you're celebrated as an "eating table" with full wait service. Very unusual setup these days. Sadly, I still love that Dortmunder.

Meal of Links

Went to see "Crank" today at Crocker Park. First off, the trailers. Horror is in the air as we saw "Texas Chainsaw Massacre", "Saw III" and "Grudge 2". Costner's big comeback movie will not be "The Guardian, which should be named "Boat Durham". Nothing stood out.

Now for "Crank". Let's face it, Jason Statham has the best "I'm going to walk right up to you with my gun drawn to kill you stride" in the business. This movie was pretty good. Lots of action, but not much of the hand-to-hand stuff we're accustomed to with Statham. This was more gunplay-oriented. A horribly-acted villian did not sway me against the flick, as Dwight Yoakam put forth a pretty good performance as Statham's doctor. Good humor and a soundtrack that smacked of irony. Come on. "Miracles" by the Starship as a prelude to a potential sequel. That's genius. Rotten Tomatoes has this as the highest-rated of the "unscreened by critics" films of the year, even higher than "Snakes on a Plane".

This British film about a mock Bush assassination is kinda creepy.

High Times rates the stoner schools. The list comes straight from their stoner pocket.

Exercise Yard

James Blake's clothing tribute to Andre Agassi. Plain Dealer had an article with no pictures. Briliant.




















Browns news. Hank Fraley joins the Browns in a good move at center. Lee Suggs was cut and that's solely an injury-prone move, as he can't seem to stay healthy. "Run, William, Run!" barely makes the team on IR. So, this is the squad that will start against the Saints in 8 days.

Visitor

15 Across: 2002 Best Actor Tony winner for "Fortune's Fool" (9 letters) Answer: Alan Bates

Didn't watch much of the Browns game tonight, because Turner was showing "Double Indemnity". My Mom was a huge Barabara Stanwyck fan and turned me onto this flick years ago. I urge you to take a look at this one. A new double-disc DVD is out, so it might be worth the 2-hour time investment.

Stellar performances by Stanwyck, Edward G. Robinson and Fred MacMurray in his pre-Flubber days. Good stuff.

Meal of Links

Keith Olbermann delivers an outstanding attack on Donald Rumsfeld. Can't say it any better.

The Village Voice fired Robert Christgau. That's a statement I thought I'd never type.

Carolyn got fired. That can't be good for business.

Exercise Yard

How did I miss this chess cheating scandal? Maybe because steroids were not involved.

Visitor

20 Across: '70s TV costar with Demond (4 letters) Answer: Redd

How come no attention is going Hurricane John's way? You'd think with Ernesto flaming out, John (or Juan) would be there for our hurricane fix. Acapulco and Cabo San Lucas are in its path. I mean, he is a Category 4. Apparently, Mexico need not apply for coverage.

Meal of Links

Great. Now we're fat, too. If you've been at the Parma Target lately, I think it's the testing area.

Spin comes up with a list of the 25 hottest live bands now. Surprising omission is the Foo Fighters. Interesting that Mars Volta opens up for the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Of course, Spin makes you buy the issue to get the Top 10. Here they are:

10. The Dirtbombs
9. Prince
8. The Hives
7. Green Day
6. White Stripes
5. Radiohead
4. Red Hot Chili Peppers
3. Arcade Fire
2. The Stooges
1. U2

Jeezy creezy. Scarlett Johansson is still only 21-years old. She's great. Saw her recently on the HD channel in "Lost in Translation" again. Stunning performance and maturity for a young pup.

Exercise Yard

Good God! The Indians have been a party to a couple of the decade's worst hitting performances. Brandon Phillips in 2003 and Einar Diaz in 2002. For good measure, we picked up Ronnie Belliard soon after his bad year. Good to see Homer "Misnomer" Bush in the lead.

Visitor

6 Down: She played C.J. in "Baywatch" (6 letters) Answer: Pamela

Here are some things that I've tried lately (besides my onion dome and olive spoon) that I thought deserved a chance:

Sushi from Giant Eagle. Yes. I know, I know, why not go somewhere a little more authentic? Like Heinen's. Well, I've been craving it lately and I left my turkey sammie at home today, so I had motive and opportunity. The advantage to working near the Hudson-Stow border is they have a Sushi Chef on site and they don't ship it in. I opted for the tuna roll and inhaled it. It was pretty good.

Diet Pepsi Jazz, Strawberries and Cream. "Indulge Your Senses" it sayeth on the bottle. The worst name/slogan for a pop, remember, it's a pop, in a long time. But pretty tasty, as far as strawberry flavored stuff goes. It falls in line with the fact I can have strawberry flavored stuff, but don't like to eat real strawberries. Yes, I am an idiot.

Diet Lipton Green Tea with Citrus. Liquid crack, as far as I'm concerned. Can't get enough of it. I've even mainlined the Diet with Mixed Berry in a pinch.

Barq's Floatz. I got these during a weak "What the hell, it's a BOGO." moment. These are little ice cream cups with a frozen root beer float in them. The downside is they are not very big and there is a huge temptation to eat 2, perhaps 6 at a time. It's not necessary, but I softened them up in the microwave for a few seconds and they came out OK. Not the greatest, but not bad.

Skippy Natural Creamy Peanut Butter. The good thing is it's a natural that you don't have to stir. I think I'm missing something because when I compare the labels of this and Regular Creamy, I see no difference. But since it's peanut butter, it's gots to be good. And it is.

Meal of Links

We are the 7th drunkest city in the U.S. Hard to imagine in a land of $10 Moscow Mules and $35 pitchers of Margaritas. PBR me.

Not hard to believe is the fact we live in America's poorest city once again. We have regained the title. One in three below the poverty line. One in three. Incredible.

Can a light bulb change the world? The answer is yes. A favorite joke: "How many bodybuilders does it take to change a light bulb?" "Five. One to change the bulb and four to shout, "You're huge, man! You're huge!"

Video of the Week

An animated video you don't see very often is Pearl Jam's "Evolution". This was directed by Todd McFarlane, who we remember for other things these days. Things to look for include the dancin' Cartoon Chick, and a whole bunch of stuff that blows up real good. But there are images that are somewhat disturbing and maybe that resulted in less airplay. But I like it. Remember, "It's evolution, baby!"

Pearl Jam-"Evolution"



Exercise Yard

I'm fairly certain that the crazy Cypriot, Marcos Baghdatis, is going to end Andre Agassi's career at his next match at the U.S. Open. A true "Loser Goes Home" match if there ever was one. But we can still watch the Top 10 Agassi commercials.

Visitor

24 Across: "Stars and Stripes" composer (5 letters) Answer: Sousa

OK, the weirdest guy you'll see this year will not be charged in the JonBenet case. What an incredible waste of time the media outlets spent on this one. I just thought the dude figured out this was an easy way to get back to the States. What will Nancy Grace do now?

Meal of Links

I cannot stand Evanescence. Great title on the song, "Call Me When You're Sober", but they suck. I've been hearing The Killers song, "When You Were Young", a lot lately and I like that very much.

Hey, it's stuff about your birthday. I'm a Life Path 4 guy: "You are one of the most trustworthy, practical, and down-to-earth of individuals; the cornerstone members of society." You bet! I get along with 6's and 7's, whatever they do.

Here is a list of the most-viewed Wikipedia pages for August. Not many times will you see Morocco, Jeff Hardy and "List of big-bust models and performers" on the same chart.

Exercise Yard

People really hate Skip Bayless. But everyone likes Charles Barkley. Especially when he buys drinks.

Visitor

46 Across: Actress Lords or Bingham (5 letters) Answer: Traci or Traci (Hey now!)

Outside of Randy Lerner's King-like reception ("Join the Randylution") at today's Aston Villa match, it was another typical Sunday. I yelled at a guy at the bakery, right in the shadow of St. Rocco's. Sorry about that, Rocky. Giant Eagle decided to clean their meat and cheese shelves while I was there, limiting the selection of meat products I wanted to buy. And I got to see homeless guy dipping his arm way down into the garbage cans numerous times near the Stadium. And I don't think he was looking for autographs. Probably got some Stadium Mustard though.

Last night, my Dad and I saw one of my all-time favorite movies at the Palace, "The French Connection", on the big screen. Two Bugs Bunny toons preceded it. Excellent prints of all the films, as well. I like Hackmann in this role as Popeye Doyle. The way it was filmed was rather revolutionary at the time. Big-time documentary feel with lots of handhelds used. Good to see it again.

One of my favorites was the scene where the chemist test the heroin:

"Blast off - one eight O.
Two hundred - Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval.
Two ten - US Government certified.
Two twenty - lunar trajectory, junk of the month club, sirloin steak.
Two thirty - Grade A poison.
Absolute dynamite. Eighty-nine percent pure junk. Best I've ever seen. If the rest is like this, you'll be dealing on this load for two years."

Meal of Links

I thought Harry Shearer had an interesting "Le Show" today. A rerun of a good discussion about Katrina with the Deputy Director of the LSU Hurricane Center regarding the Corps of Engineers, the scope of the damage, the idea of "tent cities" after a disaster, etc. Nice time investment.

If you think you like or want to like 20th-century music, here is a good place to start to listen to the best pieces. Copland made the list but not with "Beef, It's What for Dinner".

I thought this a rather unique art exhibit. Photographing toy baseball figures. No bobbleheads. I'd volunteer my Higgy bobblehead for that exhibit. I love Higgy.

Exercise Yard

With "Invincible" now on the big screen, a look back at the best football movies. Hey, no "Something for Joey"? That one made me weep.

Visitor

None, it was Lazy Sunday.

I wish I could hire "the announcer guy from the movies" to say “I have to take care of a bunch of shit”. I got a head start this a.m. by taking the old Scion xB for a checkup. I knew I had to do it eventually, but the diagnosis is I have to order some tires and get the brakes taken care of. I’ve got over 42,500 miles on that car since June of ’04. Yeah, they pile up fast. That took care of my early morning and I was done there by 8:35. Gotta go back next week.

After that, it's the wait for the air conditioning guy to come over. I had a small leak, which I think is just water. It’s beyond condensation, so I had to make the call. At least I thought it was water, but it may be some sort of colored liquid that may be poisonous. Not sure. Well, it's 1:00 and I am still waiting.

In the interim, I went to my Dad's for lawn trimming. BTW, he got an excellent report from his cardiologist. He told him he was doing fine, keep doing what you're doing and if you wanna schedule your back surgery now, go right ahead. I think it threw a curve ball at him, because he thought the back would be on hold for a while. Not clear how long he wants to wait before having another surgery.

Tomorrow, it continues...

Meal of Links

Those career women are nothin' but poison. Never trust a big briefcase and a smile.

If you feel like yelling about some place in Cleveland, try yelp.com. One guy seems to be yelping about food a lot.

William H. Macy says, "Enough is Enough! I've had it with these motherfuckin' actors showing up late on this motherfuckin' set."

Exercise Yard

Albert Belle goes to the pokey. Was the most feared slugger I've ever seen and apparently it continues off the field, as well. When your wife isn't a credible witness, you've got problems.

Visitor

17 Across: 1939 debut (6 letters) Answer: Batman

Seems like these laptop batteries are the new summer shark story of 2006. I guess some people have had trouble, but is it widespread? I realize it's probably the threat of something happening as opposed to actual incidents, so that's a relief. But, why now and not earlier? Maybe Big Computer got a call from Big Tobacco.

Meal of Links

Fitness equipment or sex toy? I'm available for further test discussions.

How can Pluto be kicked to the curb like that? Demoted from planet status. Sheesh.

Nick Hornby tells us how to read. Pick something you'd like, for starters.

Exercise Yard

Randy Lerner takes over Aston Villa.

But the big EPL story is Ben Thatcher's hit on Pedro Mendes. His elbow caused Mendes to have seizures, right there on the pitch. I saw a replay. Not good. Cops may get involved. Not good.

Visitor

47 Across: Ingrid's "Notorious" costar (4 letters) Answer: Cary (Turner with a bunch of Cary Grant movies on Saturday)

I was watching the PGA Championship a little bit the other day and I noticed CBS was really advertising the arrival of Katie Couric during the tournament. Which made me wonder how many people actually watch the evening news anymore. It seems that I drift once in a while to cable, where the delivery is at least more entertaining and the reports have the ability to be a bit longer, but more often the Internet.

Neal Gabler details the marketing of news anchors, particularly Anderson Cooper. Sort of a celebrity-as-anchor piece, but shows how few people actually watch the news, especially younger folk, despite the hype.

Meal of Links

Looks like "Survivor" stirs up the racial pot. They are separating the contestants into racial tribes. I'm not sure what to think about that.

The Toronto Film Festival is picking up steam. 107 premieres on this year's docket. No snakes though.

Jamie Gold won $12 million at this year's World Series of Poker. But he promised to split his winnings with another guy. That guy wonders where Jamie Gold went with his portion of the prize money. That would be $6 million.

Exercise Yard

The Tigers look like they have righted the ship and will continue toward the playoffs. But, man, are their playoff tickets expensive.

Visitor

57 Across: Actress Skye (4 letters) Answer: Ione "Take me to your secular world."

I hope you get a chance to see Spike Lee's Katrina doc on HBO. Told by some of the people who lived through it, I think it's powerful stuff. To see those poor people floating in the water or dead on the streets well after the fact, really gets the blood boiling. 4 hours total, probably will show up On Demand soon.

Meal of Links

Tom and Jerry, well at least Tom and a rival, once smoked in a cartoon. Not sure if they inhaled. But that episode is now banned.

Today it's a Maddenoliday. I don't play video games, but props to EA. They do an outstanding job of hyping this thing and delivering a great title every year.

Since it's back-to-school time, here are 10 things you must learn this year. Plus one of my own, learn how to park on the street, it saves you money.

Video of the Week

Here's a rarity. I think it's "catchy, not pitchy", because we all know it's no fun being an illegal alien. Each time I see this, I wonder if this would get greenlit these days. I mean it "borders" on being very politically incorrect. Things to look for: Phil Collins' bad accent, his "over the border" line slays me, noted Genesis choregraphy by walking in sync...sort of.

Genesis-"Illegal Alien"



Exercise Yard

I've got some hoops news. I was a winner in the NCAA's lottery for the Women's Final Four next April. It was kinda funny, as they sent me a follow-up e-mail that said their mail-merge didn't work. I was still a winner, but every letter they sent had the first name incorrect. I looked again and sure enough, they had my first name as "Alfred".

Cleveland State finally released their schedule for men's basketball. The most attractive home games are against George Mason and Kent. They even sneak in a league game in early December for the first time. The usual jabrones show up on the schedule with John Carroll and Notre Dame College represented. I have re-upped again and I'm excited about the team this year. Of course, I'm like that every year at this time.

Visitor

4 Down: Opponent of Deep Blue, IBM's chess computer (8 letters) Answer: Kasparov

Today started off normally enough. My brother and I took in the first Sunday match of the English Premier League on Fox Soccer Channel. Of course, this required the big breakfast consisting of the Jimmy Dean Skillet. That didn't require much eating the rest of the day as Chelsea won 3-nil over Manchester City. Anytime you can make fun of a guy named Dickov, it's all good. He's a man of smaller stature for City who somehow got a yellow card on a corner, as everyone was jostling for position. Quite the hoot. Chelsea looked in good form, dominating the match, even with Jose Morinho's short hair.

But then I got the call from Best Friend at halftime to see "Snakes on a Plane". Several of us dipped into our stoner pockets and got the money to go. It is one of the best B-movies out there. You need to go with your favorite movie-loving friends to view this one. No one cares about any comments you make, because everyone is doing the same. If all movies were like this, attendance would be through the roof. Don't get hung up on plot points or anything else and roll with the stupidity that is this flick. You can also apply the signature line, "Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfuckin' SNAKES on this motherfuckin' PLANE!" to vitually any real-life situation. It's a great time with friends.

Look for the articles that bash the box office on this one. Phrases like "internet hype" and "disappointing results" will be the headlines this week. Frankly, I don't care, it was fun.

Meal of Links

New Hampshire isn't exactly thrilled with the Democrats messing around with the primary season. They will do just about anything to remain first.

Folks aren't too sure the government learned anything from Katrina. And if you think you can hide in Nawlins, think again.

Here's an interesting look at the top 10 most beautiful cellphones. And, yes, the Chocolate weighs in at Number 2. Personally, the O2 Ice looks good to me.

Exercise Yard

Tiger Woods adds the 12th major to his trophy case, the PGA Championship at Medinah. Where's Phil?

Visitor

None, it's a Sunday.

Randomness from last night's Browns home game:

Sort of an odd deal last night. On-street parking was horrendous as West 9th has the bagged meters because CPD is using that as the alternate for Ontario traffic. Had to park near Tower City. Gale was working at Tower City, so we went to the Map Room on 9th for some dogs ahead of the game. Saw Reggie Langhorne coming out of Blue Point before the game. We left at halftime, because, well, I refuse to cooperate with management by watching fourth and fifth stringers play while I pay full fare. Anyhow, this allowed us the chance to ride the Rapid back to Tower City for $1.75. This is the first time I've been on public transportation locally in quite a while. But it enabled easy access to The Harp for some chow.

The weather was pretty humid.

The giveaway: There was none.

It smelled under the Shoreway Bridge at West 3rd and I didn't see any dead fish.

The Browns are not very good on offense right now. I'm still uncomfortable with Maurice Carthon as coordinator. We have weapons, man, use them! Bright spot was Jerome Harrison, the fifth-round running back. On defense, it's a little better. Wimbley looks like an unbelievable physical specimen in person. He reminds me of some of those tall, thin pass rushing ends of the past, like a Sean Jones. He may be what we thought Courtney Brown was gonna be. I need a bigger TV to view Ted Washington though. My goodness, he is resembling Refrigerator Perry these days, but I must say, he seems to occupy two people on almost every play he's in there. Linebacking, in theory, should be easier with him in there. Mason Unck is still a Brown, BTW.

No markings on the field in either endzone or at midfield. Methinks it has something to do with the Browns 60th anniversary and they do not want to tip their hand.

No G.E. Smith Band! Perhaps they are gearing up for a version of "The Anniversary Waltz".

Tame crowd in Section 345. One drunk latecomer, but that was about it. Lots of Carthon complaining though.

Best line from me: "Hey, you know it's a preseason game when the escalator is working." Needless to say, as soon as we got on it, it died. So, we had to walk up the escalator. Again.

Oddest Browns jersey: Too many people had their own names on the back. That's a no-no.

New vendor item: Roasted almonds.

Best shirt: A 14-year old kid wearing a shirt that said, "No, really. I'm in college."

The aforementioned chili dog at the Map Room was kosher and really good.

The Village Idiot, Jeff Tanchak, has been replaced by Marky Nolan.

Best Browns play: I thought Reuben Droughns ripped off a nice run in the first quarter.

Worst Browns play: The Frye interception was pretty fugly.

Stats: Meaningless.

The Browns won 20-16. Whoopee.

Meal of Links

Looks like L.A. wants to clean up Skid Row. But where will all the drug dealers go?

Here are the five most obviously drug-fueled appearances ever on TV. Crispin Glover, James Brown, an AFV studio audience, Klaus Kinski and Richard Pryor. Quite the hot tub.

This guy got stuck in a vat of chocolate, Sweet.

Exercise Yard

Marion Jones is a doper. This time, a confirmed doper. She's had the taint for a while. Now, it's done.

Visitor

30 Across: Composer Bernstein (5 letters) Answer: Elmer

Last night, I ventured over to HOB with S. to see Chris Isaak. He's a pretty good entertainer, evidenced by the back of one of his guitars that read "Thanks a lot". His band has been together for 20 years and it shows. A very cohesive unit and they play around a lot. They even had a "guitar army" thing going. Starts off the show with some up-tempo stuff. Then slides into the "rock portion" of the setlist. Little stage rearrangement and the acoustic songs come out. Then he closes with some more fast tunes. He was on his way to NYC to co-host "Regis and Kelly" today.

The sound was really washed out though. Probably the worst I've heard at HOB. But he disposed of "Wicked Game" pretty early. Did a bang up job on "Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing", which is one of my favorites. And also on "Somebody's Crying". Had a little Elvis tribute on the anniversary of his death with some "Don't Be Cruel" and did a cover of "I Want You to Want Me", which provided a respite from my Cheap Trick jones.

However, I was able to partake of many alcohol groups. Bourbon, beer and the discovery of the evening, the Moscow Mule. This is ginger beer with vodka and some limes. Madre de dios, is that good! However, they were $10 a pop. I repeat...$10 a pop. Seem to have had way too many of them when the bill arrived. Whoops.

Meal of Links

Several of us went to see "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" at the Palace. It holds up pretty well. I had not seen it quite sometime and it made me laugh quite a bit. There was a guy with a unique laugh behind me that just set me off at times. The short was a Three Stooges clip, so that was right up my alley.

But I have to mention Otto Moser's, where the service was really slow. The bartender would ignore most of her customers for minutes on end. I knew I was in trouble when it took me about 5 minutes for my first beer. The food was OK, I had an open-faced roast beef with undone fries, but the drink service was abysmal. This urban individual sat next to me and he waited even longer for his first beer. I was gonna ask him if it reminded him of Denny's, but I didn't know how he would react. The bartender must be one of those who relies on her 4 or 5 regulars where she can spend time with them and then drink with them. Amazing.

O.J. told us we'd find the real killer. Unfortunately, it was the creepiest guy you'll see all year, and it was the JonBenet murder.

There is a Fantasia movie. Yes, the "American Idol" Fantasia. And she acts in it, even though I thought she was a singer.

Exercise Yard

Formula One returns to Indy for one more year. It's a shame if that race disappears from the circuit.

Visitor

1 Across: Winningest lefthanded pitcher (5 letters) Answer: Spahn

While sitting here wondering why Gerald Ford ends up in the hospital every week, only to sneak out later, I paid some bills today and realized I got my major credit card debt down to zero. As in nada, nil, a bagel, if you will. That's a great feeling. Especially with a new credit score coming next month.

OK, so it's like eating nothing but salads ten days before a doctor appointment, but it works. Speaking of doctors, I took advice from mine and have been icing my elbow every day and it seems to be helping it. I've joked for months that I have "frozen elbow" and finally mentioned it to a medical professional, fully expecting x-rays and a treatment plan. He told me to ice it. I figured I'd try it and initially had no hope, but it seems to be responding. Still not 100%, but tolerable now.

Meal of Links

CBS joins the streaming party. Now if we could just get more HD channels. Hey, I finally discovered I now have NBA TV.

Nature is so-o-o-o sexy. In a National Geographic kind of way.

Did you know that Bill Elliott has a beef jerky product? Available at Wal-Marts near the race tracks. Honest.

Video of the Week

"Wishing Well" was first out of the box for old Terence Trent D'Arby. This video showed a lot of promise. First off, a really neat tune. The bass player looks like the coolest guy in the state, let alone the room. Then we have a chick with a Genevieve Bujold/Katarina Witt thing going on, I think his girlfriend at the time. What's with his badge? And listen for the "bells ring". Little did we know this guy's ego would effectively kill his career.

Terence Trent D'Arby-"Wishing Well"



Exercise Yard

Dr. Z chimes in with some NFL observations. I guess we still suck, but it's always a good read when Seattle's Lofa Tatupu gets mentioned. But good news, the preseason games, even with all the substitutions, are clocking in at an average of 2:55. That's unheard of.

Visitor

14 Across: Folk singer Guthrie (4 letters) Answer: Arlo

Tony Kornheiser is kicking butt on Monday Night Football tonight. Joe Theismann uttered perhaps the most moronic statement I've ever heard. He claimed the new Raider offensive coordinator, who had been running a Bed & Breakfast and had been out of football for seven years, was actually in a better position of returning to the NFL than Hall-of-Famer Joe Gibbs in his return a couple of years ago. Thank God, Mr. Tony called him on it.

Time for the Little League World Series. We haven't got to Williamsport yet and we already have controversy. We had a forfeit because one team forgot to bat a kid. The winning team had to forfeit. Kids cried.

And last week, we found out about Cancer Boy. Again, kids cried.

Ain't it great?

Meal of Links

The Boy George "I Love New York" campaign. In picture form.

Websites that changed the world. I'm sure you've visited most of them.

Here are the Fox NFL broadcast teams for this year. Joe Buck now hosts the pregame. Looks like Bill Maas didn't make the cut.

Exercise Yard

Randy Lerner done went and got himself an EPL soccer club, Aston Villa (read the former coaches' quotes). It seems their former Chairman, "Deadly" Doug Ellis, is kind of a Larry Dolan-Art Modell combo. Villa has virtually no debt, but Ellis wouldn't spend any money.

Aston Villa supporters are ecstatic. I think Lerner has a good eye for this team, because he can spend some cash (great TV deals coming), get more fan involvement, and participate in a turnaround of the franchise.

Visitor

1 Down: Hugh who plays House on "House" (6 letters) Answer: Laurie

After attending the Burning River Fest yesterday, it makes sense to visit Wendy Park more often. The festival itself was better logistically, because you could roam around with your beer. OK, that was an exteremly selfish reason for liking it. But they interspersed the booths between environmental concerns, food, and arts and crafts. So that gave the vendors a fair shot on attracting people.

But the neat thing about the place is you get different vistas of the city instead of the same old, same old, that you see every day. I thought it was well attended and looked like a success.

Meal of Links

"Weeds" starts its second season on Showtime tomorrow. It is one of my favorites. Justin Kirk as Andy is hilarious.

You don't really pay any attention to rules in sports until they affect your team. Thanks to Dwayne Rudd for pointing that out. Here are the NFL rules changes for this year. Most of them we won't notice, but you can bet the Browns will commit the more obscure fouls.

Doh! Homer Simpson is banned in China from 5:00 to 8:00 p.m. This reminds me of the "Canadian Content" rule for their radio stations. Have to protect your own artists, even if they suck. Not sure if the Canadian law still exists.

Jules Winnfield, Puckhead



Since Samuel L. will be kicking asp soon, I thought it appropriate to rerun this. Look for the "Inglewood Jack".

Exercise Yard

I wake up today and we have no Americans as heavyweight champions. Wait a minute, Oleg Maskaev is an American citizen. Never mind. Travis Hafner is also an American and is still slam happy. That was his 6th grand slam of the year, tying Don Mattingly's record. Hafner is a pretty humble star, but he can have some really funny quotes at times.

BTW, Grady Sizemore with an absolutely sweet swing for a homer in Game 2 on Saturday. He'll have centerfield locked down for quite a while. Yes, went out on a limb for that prediction.

Visitor

None, it was an "I forgot to name a NASCAR fantasy lineup" Sunday.

Here's what I've been listening to lately.

Newer stuff:

"Take Me Back To Your House"/Basement Jaxx (The best "banjo house" song ever)
"Black Swan"/Thom Yorke (The phrase "fucked up" used a bit)
"Supermassive Black Hole"/Muse
"Original Fire"/Audioslave

Other Stuff:

"Snow (Hey Oh)"/Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Subterranean Homesick Blues"/Bob Dylan
"Jerry Was A Race Car Driver"/Primus
"Erase/Rewind"/The Cardigans
"Six Underground"/Sneaker Pimps
"Beyond Belief"/Elvis Costello
"Pulse"/Psychedelic Furs
"Date Rape"/Sublime
"Pictures of You"/The Cure
"Sister Disco"/The Who
"Step It Up"/Stereo MCs
"Hang On To Your Life"/The Guess Who
"Fell In Love With a Girl"/The White Stripes

Meal of Links

Items from the Unabomber are up for auction. I want the hoodie. Or is that evidence?

We are producing boatloads of corn. Soybeans, not so good.

Looks like it's time for the annual Perseid Meteor Shower. Damn, is this summer flying by. It seems like just yesterday I was ignoring everyone on my birthday.

Exercise Yard

Went to last night's Indians game. A yawner except that we tried Applestix for the first time. Not bad. And damn Onion, slumping worse than Travis Hafner, keeps losing Hot Dog Derby.

Grady Sizemore hits a triple in the 9th to clear the bases. Tribe wins, 4-3, I think we are now 26 games out of it.

Visitor

None. I'm protesting the fact the Plain Dealer put Monday's puzzles in today's paper. Last time I checked it was a Saturday. Pleasure Robbers!

I was watching this old PBS special on class and one line really stuck out. This kid was talking about cliques at his high school. He was definitely a nerd, but a hilarious one. You know the type, no one talks to him in high school, but in college, he's the guy who can get you stuff.

Anyhow he's describing the cliques and he says, "Let's see. You have the nerds, the band nerds, the drama queens and the kids who throw shit at me at lunch." Funny stuff.

Meal of Links

"Sir, you must dump your champagne."

















Let's focus more on the criminals that were captured rather than hear people complaining they may have to be sociable on the plane. What am I saying? iPods are a great way to avoid conversation on a plane.

Dave Navarro is hooking up with Jenna Jameson. Her new face is still creepy to me, but...

Here's how to quit hitting the snooze. Practice, my friend.

Exercise Yard

I understand that Major League Baseball has to find new revenue streams. But to actually charge license fees for fantasy baseball stats seems rather heartless.

Thankfully, the court agreed, but MLB is appealing. If they win, Larry Dolan, spend your cash. Clown.

Visitor

16 Across: Sportscaster Berman (3 letters) Answer: Len

Obviously, the story of the day is Maurice Clarett. And what everyone will say is it's a shame what happened to the guy. First of all, I think he did right to challenge the draft, a player of his stature was necessary to go to court on the issue. He needed to stay eligible while doing it but seemed to adopt a terrible attitude along the way. My concern was he was portrayed as an honor student in high school that enrolled early at Ohio State. Then we find out he needed to take oral exams in college, because he had trouble reading. How does that happen?

But it looks like trouble. Three loaded handguns, a loaded assault rifle, a bulletproof vest, a bottle of vodka and a hatchet! My God, is he driving O.J. around? Whatever drove him to this is anyone's guess, but it appears to be a case of a guy who admits he finally needs help, albeit strangely, after rejecting it for many years.

Meal of Links

It's going to be hard for Senator Lieberman to regain any "Joe-mentum". He's got to give up the ghost immediately.

The court says porn at work is a no-no. I like how Carl Monday represents all that is masturbatory.

How about some "Cheap Eats"? I have some teriyaki chicken leftovers. Mmmmmm...teriyaki.

Video of the Week

I am gonna start a new feature where I'll pick a music video that intrigues me. Of course, I'll try and find some that feature music I like, and are of a higher quality.

New York Dolls-Personality Crisis



What do the Dolls say in "Punk Attitude"? "In America, we were such a hard pill to swallow." Keep in mind, this is 1973.

Exercise Yard

This is beyond cool. Fox Sports Channel is going to show 150 English Premier League matches this year, starting next weekend. Including an 11 o'clocker on Sundays (premiering with Chelsea vs. Manchester City...YEAH!), which was previously hallowed pay-per-view territory. That means non-Berman Sundays.

Visitor

17 Across: Senator for 47 straight years, a Senate record (10 letters) Answer: Robert Byrd

My Dad got sent home from the hospital today. I knew he felt it was home, sweet home when he was bitching that SportsTime Ohio went blank for a bit during the Tribe game on his WOW cable system tonight. Boy, they have a large schedule on that channel, don't they?

Meal of Links

This Lloyd Eisler guy seems to be having trouble keeping his pants on lately. Reality TV strikes again.

I used to really like Joe Morgan calling games, but he obviously took some stupid pills around the time "Moneyball" was published and he became a heavyweight player rep for the Hall of Fame. Now Joe sets his sights on announcing the Little League World Series.

Now, here is an interesting tongue. Geez, that looks like it was painful, but it's probably easier to tie a cherry stem now.

Exercise Yard

How does Krazy George rate an interview with the Chicago Tribune? Seems they did the Wave at Wrigley the other day. Good God, man. I seem to recall this clown leading cheers at Houston Oiler and Minnesota Viking games. He would wear jersey Number Zero and bang a drum, while sticking his tongue out and making silly faces. And I really hate myself for knowing that.

Visitor

34 Across: Spy novelist Deighton (3 letters) Answer: Len

For quite a while, I haven't take any criticism of Jack White without a fight. After seeing The Raconteurs last night at the House of Blues, I am prepared to be more feisty on the issue. Oh, it was a sellout, and sure, it was cramped and a bit steamy for my taste, but The Raconteurs have become more than a side project and have evolved into a really terrific band. Best Friend, Co-Conspirator and Niece of Best Friend attended the show and it was clearly one of the best I've seen. This was the last show on this leg of the tour and they tore the roof off the sucka.

It's interesting to see Jack White out of his White Stripes persona. He's a tangle of a lot of hair flying around and constant motion and the audience interaction is still minimal. And he's not wearing red and black! Don't get me wrong, he fits into the concept of a band, but he's definitely the straw that stirs this drink. Unlike The White Stripes, we have more than two people on stage. The drum kit is surprisingly sparse, but we also have a bass player involved. Needless to say, to borrow my line about Dave Grohl, you know you're at a rock show when Jack White is involved. Raw guitar playing, incredible energy and loud.

They played all the cuts from their CD, which is only 35 minutes long, but they extended many of the songs and have some really good headbangin' stretches during these long passages. Trust me, I've seen a million of these shows, but this was one of a minute number that you felt that you saw a true genius at the moment he is at the top of his game. I thought that way when I saw the White Stripes last year and Jack White still has it. Very hard to describe, but I was incredibly jazzed after this one.

And without a lot of material, you have to play some covers. One was "Bang Bang", the old Sonny and Cher song. But this was definitely a more psychedelic version. "It Ain't Easy", popularized by Bowie was on the playlist and the encore started with, and you had to see it to believe it, "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley! A great song on it's own, but to hear the first few notes, you're standing there thinking, my God, they are gonna do "Crazy". Jack sang lead on this one, too, and it was a great rendition. Perhaps the best received song of the night.

An absolute monster of a show.

Meal of Links

Michael Hutchence to get the biopic treatment. Maybe there will be a reality show on who gets the starring role.

A bunch of reasons on why we are miserable. Solving the Sudoku not mentioned.

Now I want my BookMooch!

Exercise Yard

The 50 biggest rivalries of the WWF. Many old favorites are mentioned.

Speaking of Wrestling...



A classic from 20 years ago. Jim Cornette stirs up the pot.

Visitor

57 Across: Onetime partner of David Crosby and Graham Nash (13 letters) Answer: Stephen Stills

I think the last time the Indians tried to force-feed a closer on the great unwashed (Danny Baez aside) was the year John Hart picked up John Rocker. Ah, a distant memory, but yes, Rockhead was seen as a great alternative to Bob Wickman. I can't count how many times after it was obvious it wasn't working, that Uncle Charlie kept giving Rocker the ball with the game on the line. He left him out there to die on numerous occasions and if you recall, Wickman was reinstated as the closer on the last Tribe team to make the playoffs.

Fast forward to this season when Fausto Carmona was highly touted as a future starter. Somehow, while others are always sent to Buffalo for more seasoning, Carmona sticks with the club and we are trying him as a reliever. Then Wickman is traded and Carmona is handed the closer's job. But his performance since then has been putrid. It's not that he's losing games, it's the drama of the last-inning bomb to lose. That makes three games this week. What was the quote the other day after the second one, "If Wedge sent him out again to close, it would border on a human rights violation."? Hey, dial Amnesty International, won't you?

Meal of Links

Jodie Foster defends Mel Gibson. She's good people.

In case you haven't noticed, Darren Rovell moved from ESPN to CNBC. He is a terrific sports business reporter. We've all seen the ads for "Talladega Nights" where Will Ferrell is sponsored by Wonder Bread. Rovell gives us the bread and butter on the topic.

More anniversaries. The web went worldwide in August of 1991.

Exercise Yard

Best Friend and I took in some boxing last night. A rare Saturday, because Showtime AND HBO had cards. On Showtime, the Brothers Marquez both won. They each had tough opponents, Rafael beat Silence Mabuza of South Africa, and Juan Manuel beat Terdsak (yes, Terdsak!) Jandaeng of Thailand. Pretty good bouts in that the Marqeuzeses kept pounding the other guys, but took big shots themselves, with Juan Manuel a one-eyed fighter in the end. Juan Manuel won in 7, Rafael in 9.

The HBO card featured Ike Quartey and Vernon Forrest. These guys are really fighting for their respective careers. Quartey has had some long layoffs and Forrest battling some tough injuries and some bad losses. In a unanimous decision that defied all odds, Forrest was declared the winner. Even with a point deduction for a low blow in the 9th, which I thought for certain clinched it for Quartey. When the first two judges had it 95-94, my first reaction was uh-oh, those two would have it a draw without the deduction. The next guy came in at 96-93 and I thought sanity prevailed. Then Michael Buffer announced Forrest as the winner and we were both shocked out of our minds. Hell, I thought I had been hit with a low blow. Not the outrage it should be, because it was a non-title bout, but damn.

Visitor

None, it's a Jack-White-is-in-town-with-The Raconteurs Sunday.

Math Quiz:

Patio of The Harp plus Browns Family Night at the Stadium equals ???

Yes, that would be fireworks.

From the patio you get an excellent view of the lake and Downtown. Obviously, I didn't check my Fireworks Calendar, so it was a surprise. And keeping with tradition, I still haven't seen anything new.

Meal of Links

Gulity pleasure. VH-1 Classic is showing videos from the first day of MTV today. The Selecter! Even "Prime Time" by The Tubes. Hah! MTV is 25 years old this week.

I got my Mooch back. Well, for now. The FCC took Time Warner Cable to the woodshed and said, "Not so fast, my friend." regarding the removal of the NFL Network from their newly combined systems. Looks like 30 days while negotiations are allegedly taking place. But we know Time Warner hasn't budged in two years, so why would they succumb now? That answer would be money, I presume. And I bet it comes from "Viewers like you".

Meet the "King of Wikipedia". Could be the "King of Pain".

Exercise Yard

Well, the B sample is in. Yep, that one was dirty, as well. So, Phonak sacked Floyd Landis and he's on his way to losing his Tour de France title, while not on the bike.

It's a strange story. I saw the stages in question and it was a feat of magnificent proportion. But what I can't believe is if Landis doped, why didn't it show up earlier and how stupid could he be to load up at that point of the race? Maybe he thought he'd get a top 5 and had no idea he would win the damn thing.

Visitor

14 Across: 1966 N.L. batting champ (4 letters) Answer: Alou

INHD is once again showing those damn Olympic shows that suck me in every time. This time it's the 4-hour recap of the 1984 Los Angeles games. You know, "The Albatross", Mary Lou Retton, Daley Thompson, Carl Lewis, Edwin Moses, Sebastian Coe and on and on.

Mo' better getting sucked in: Eddie Izzard's "Dressed To Kill".

Eddie Izzard-Stonehenge



Meal of Links

Kansas City is breathing much easier this week. They found the fudge thief who wore underwear on his head while committing the crime.

I find myself being oddly attracted to Helena Bonham Carter these days. Doesn't she appear to be someone you could commit incredibly dirty, perhaps bordering on illegal in some states, acts with?

Nikki Finke puts the Mel Gibson episode in perspective. Bottom line, he makes money in Hollywood, he is not going away.

Exercise Yard

Have you ever heard Jon Gruden talk in such glowing terms about a young QB before? Looks like he's in love with Toledo's Bruce Gradkowski.





















"I don't like dents in my Cadillac."

Visitor

2 Down: Abraham's nephew (3 letters) Answer: Lot

Well, the power is back on, at least for a little while. Oh, I'm still naked, but the power AND cable are working. The power has been off for at least 18 of the last 27 hours and Time Warner suffered a major outage right about the time I turned the TV on this morning, for about 45 minutes. Which reminds me, I'll be getting a new e-mail address soon. Anyhow, I think I've uttered enough f-bombs for the time being as it's slowly getting back to normal.

Meal of Links

I'm one of the lucky few who saw the picture of the dead fetus flying about on Monday. It's just as it said it was going to be, a dead fetus with the caption in large letters, "THIS IS ROE V. WADE" next to it. I'll be honest, from that distance you couldn't tell what it was, but I saw it.

I don't know how many times you can reissue the same material, but they are gonna try again with Elvis Costello. But all of the good ones are included here, including "Get Happy", which I mentioned a few weeks ago. I have been listening a lot to "Imperial Bedroom" lately and I must say, it's an incredible album that continues to be overlooked. Elvis also sings the theme to "Weeds" in the theme-song singing rotation of their upcoming season.

Madonna is showing her ass during her tour. As well she should.

I don't know what the Finns are famous for. But for those of us who still believe in dementia, they have developed a method to predict dementia risk. Yikes, I have too many, what do you call 'em? Uh...risk factors...yeah, that's it, risk factors.

Exercise Yard

And now that we've been switched to Time Warner Cable, it's Day 2 without the NFL Network and you can add Cleveland to the list. If I wasn't naked, by God, I'd march right down there and demand that the NFL Network should never, ever, be yanked from a cable system. Especially now that they have live games. I should also mention it's Day 2 without ESPN U, but since the World Cup is over, I don't care about that.

Here is the evil Time Warner response. They actually mention Fuel in the same breath as the NFL. Hah! Oh, I'm not really upset, especially when I'll be getting Court TV On Demand.

Visitor

46 Across: Eight-time Norris Trophy winner (3 letters) Answer: Orr

Due to a combination of:

a) C.P.P. providing me with a...(ahem)...12-hour blackout last evening and throughout the night

and

b) The Adelphia switch to Time-Warner occurring during said blackout.

I currently have no high-speed Internet nor cable TV at home. Posting will be spotty.

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