Isolation Thought

ESPN's "Dream Job" was much, much better today and it resulted in an easy cut. There is a Miami grad from Cleveland participating and he did OK. Stephen A. is really drilling folks with his criticism.

Meal of Links

How about that hilarious commercial for the "Dr. Phil" special on CBS? You know the one, where Phil tells some Mom that her son exhibits 9 of the 14 traits serial killers are known to possess. How can you not watch that show? I bet the kid's teachers are thrilled.

Ten things going wrong in Iraq. An absolute classic editorial cartoon from the Arizona Republic.

"Scorpion Queen" breaks world record. David Blaine having nightmares.

Exercise Yard

Doping in sports continues. I am actually surprised at the latest culprit, Tyler Hamilton. He was Lance's caddy for many years on US Postal and has had some fairly good results, including the latest Olympic gold medal, while dealing with many injuries. Of course, all cyclists who have failed tests proclaim innocence (and Hamilton came up positive on two tests), but eventually they all cave. The tests are getting more sophisticated and this was a newer test that actually tested for blood transfusions.

Visitor

37 Across: Folk singer Phil (4 letters) Answer: Ochs

Isolation Thought

It was heartening to see that "Arrested Development" won the Emmy for Best Comedy Series last night. The decline of network TV into reality shows and news magazines is quite dismaying, but this Fox show is one of a handful of network offerings that I never miss. The show is extremely funny and I really don't understand why more people do not watch it. It put Jason Bateman back on the map and has one of the best casts out there. It's not done in ordinary sitcom fashion, hell, it even has Ron Howard as a narrator, but those who complain "there is nothing on" need to give this show a shot. Fox has been patient with the series and I'm hoping they leave it alone. Trust me, you'll laugh and that's what comedies are there for, right?

Meal of Links

Star Jones took over red carpet duties from the Rivers. Riverses? Riversi? Anyhow, she's awful.

Traffic accidents spike up three days after a terrorist attack. Nobody knows why. It just does. Or, as in the case of Carole Chandler, maybe it's just bad driving. (Item 2)

CBS finally admits the Bush National Guard documents were forgeries. They should have punted on that a week ago.

Exercise Yard

Bernard Hopkins KO'd Oscar De La Hoya on Saturday, and now gets the accolades he richly deserves.

Visitor

69 Across: Grinch creator (5 letters) Answer: Seuss

Isolation Thought

As I was zipping home from watching the Browns debacle, I had a chance to listen to this new program on XM Radio. It's called (Quick Browns thought: I am off the Quincy Morgan bandwagon...again) "Then..Again...Live". This week they recreated Cheap Trick's "Live at Budokan" concert. And yes, they started with "Hello there, ladies and gentlemen. Hello there, ladies and gents, are you ready to rock? Are you ready or not?" All that was missing were the screaming Japanese fans. I know it came out 25 years ago, but let me tell you, these guys still have it. I would put Robin Zander's voice up against any other rock vocalist out there.

Meal of Links

Oops, Britney Spears got married again. Menu: Mini cheeseburgers and chicken strips. I guess they stopped at one of those White Castle/Church's complexes.

The first Enron trials start on Monday.

Here's Miss America's schedule, in case you want to stalk her this week.

Exercise Yard

The U.S. got steamrolled at this year's Ryder Cup. Look for rule changes, as that is the American Way when we get trounced.

How can the Browns have a quarterback go 8-of-28 and still have a shot at a win? Dallas wanted to give this one away and we didn't take it. My God, this offense stinks.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

Should I be worried that as I pulled into my driveway last night at 11:45 after the Indians game, my new neighbor was in the process of stringing up Halloween lights? Not a big fan of the lights. Don't recall lights when I used to trick-or-treat. Seems too much of a marketing gimmick. I mean if you want to put a skeleton on your door, I'm hip. Little coffin on your porch, maybe some scary music, I'm with ya. But lights? Nope.

What would scare me is if they're Christmas lights. Or worse yet, some random "we like lights" statement.

Meal of Links

"We don't smoke marijuana in Muskogee", unless you're Macauley Culkin.

No, it's not the old lady hoarding cats story. It's the old guy hoarding guns story.

It's Ryder Cup weekend. The only time you'll hear the word "dormie".

Exercise Yard

Barry Bonds hits No. 700. I really thought Griffey, Jr. would get there, but I think Bonds will be the last to 700 for a while. I think Sosa will probably break down before he has a chance. Bonds benefited greatly in this era, due to juiced baseballs after the 1994 strike, virtually each team building a new stadium, and the cloud of steroid use. I'd like to see him beat Aaron. If he's clean, that is.

Speaking of juicing, Tom Hamilton heavily implied that Bobby Higginson of the Tigers must have been on something during his big years. Once again, Hammy criticizes anything to do with opponents, while conveniently turning a blind eye toward his own team. All one has to do is look at Jim Thome or Manny Ramirez and wonder.

Visitor

1 Across: Two-time Masters champion (15 letters) Answer: Seve Ballesteros

Isolation Thought

Hey, Errol Morris made the LA Times Syndicate crossword today. You wanna see fine documentaries? I urge you to view his work.

Johnny Ramone died today. It makes me kinda sad, as that makes three of them gone at rather young ages. I always liked these guys, got to see them live a couple of times. Once I thought Joey Ramone was gonna die right there on the stage at the Phantasy Theatre. Really hot inside the building, combined with beer drinking and I'm shocked he made it through. Of course, they could knock out about 25 songs in an hour, so he could have left at any time and he would have touched most of their catalog. Not big sellers though, probably because they were not radio friendly and they didn't exactly have the chicks swooning over their looks. But a terrific band, nonetheless, with a great sense of humor. Gabba Gabba Hey.

Meal of Links

We haven't had a "Beer is good for you" story in, what, about 3 weeks or so. Here's another one for your binge drinking pleasure.

The Olsen Twins decide to promote McDonald's in France. Because no one in America has seen them eat.

Larry David blasts the undecided voters. I've decided it's a very funny editorial.

Exercise Yard

The most fascinating story from the Olympics continues. The Aussie women's rowing team is at it again. "Lay-Down Sally" has to be THE sports nickname of the year.

Visitor

4 Down: "The Fog of War" producer Morris (5 letters) Answer: Errol

Isolation Thought

Next week it is National Singles Week, with the added bonus of Sunday being Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Jeff Garcia is gonna have real trouble calling signals on Sunday.

Meal of Links

New York families are getting hosed when it comes to paying for college.

The Kennedy Center Honors program must need the ratings. Elton John and Warren Beatty receive medals.

Phil Spector gets his murder trial delayed. Perhaps, for his hair.

Exercise Yard

Dickies is going to sponsor the NASCAR fall race at Texas.

Visitor

52 Down: Jazzman Getz (4 letters) Answer: Stan

Isolation Thought

Not being a smoker, what are the rules at a hurricane shelter? I mean is there a guy at the door telling you to move it outside if you wanna smoke? Or what if it's stormy, do they prevent you from going outside to smoke a cig? I dunno, you'd think there would be more fights at these places.

Looks like Kobe told the cops a bunch of stuff he probably regrets. My take is that so much leaked out about the victim, someone sympathetic to her leaked these items to SI.

Meal of Links

The son of the "voice of God" is suing Campbell Soup. His alphabet soup must have spelled: S-U-E T-H-E B-A-S-T-A-R-D-S.

Paul and Ringo take a bite out of Apple Computer. Probably got the idea from lunch.

Tracey Gold didn't use to eat. Apparently, she still doesn't. Not even soup.

Exercise Yard

Just finished watching the first of this year's "Dream Job" episodes on ESPN. Strong performances by 2 of the guys, but absolutely brutal stints by the other 4. I've had this credo for years: "If people at home think they can do better than a performer on television or radio, they need to be off the air." I wouldn't miss any of those 4 who were lousy. Which leads me to this...How is Kit Hoover still on the air, judging others? For my sake, please watch ESPN2's "Cold Pizza" a couple of times and try and convince me otherwise.

Visitor

42 Across: Classic Paul Newman role (12 letters) Answer: Butch Cassidy

Isolation Thought

Just a couple of more items from the Browns game. G.E. Smith signed up for really crappy duty and led his band through about 40 seconds of music each time there was a stoppage in play. They interspersed that video with crowd shots making it appear the crowd was paying attention to G.E. Sorry G.E., they were just mugging for the camera.

And Jim Brown did not wear his old uniform while all others of the 1964 championship team did, including Lou Groza's wife, for a trophy presentation. I don't know if it's:

a) I have a life beyond football.
b) Guys in their 60s look stupid in uniforms.
c) I'm still stickin' it to the man.
d) All of the above.

And Gary Collins saying, "Cleveland Rocks" has about as much credibility as me saying, "Fo' shizzle my nizzle."

Meal of Links

How come no one can figure out "hand over heart" in this photo? The kids especially.

Oprah gave away cars to her entire anniversary audience. When will the first person bitch about what kind of car it was, taxes and insurance? It's coming soon.

I kinda like this year's Rock Hall nominees.

Exercise Yard

Peter King watched the Browns game. Note the Winking Lizard episode.

Visitor

3 Down: Fair Deal president (6 letters) Answer: Truman

Isolation Thought

Randomness from the Browns first regular season home game:

My brother Jeff's record at the new stadium is 7-5. Maybe he should have the tickets.
Defense today was outstanding. Kenard Lang was dancing after each of his tackles.
If it smelled under the Shoreway, I didn't even care.
Garcia and the offense was non-existent for about three quarters and looked awful.
Cleveland Browns Stadium northwest escalator broken. Again. But they let us use the stairs.
Second play of game...false start!!! Again. Did you hear me?
Winslow's a playa, dude.
Looks like there was a big change in STH's around us this year. Idiots from Columbus were in front of us. Thank God, they were not season ticket holders. Pretty normal until we had a disagreement on strategy near halftime. Their second half lowlights: After first touchdown, one male tore down the pants of other male. Second male relieved himself in a beer cup, a first for the new stadium that I've seen.
I think Garcia had a great last 16 minutes of the game.
Best line from me (Commenting on a group of four lovely young women, who wore boas(!) to the game): "They probably got them from the strip club where they work."
Best line by a random: "My name is Big Mack and you can kiss my ass, Jamal Lewis."
Best new nameplate on a #2 jersey: PUSSY
Oddest Browns jersey: #38 Langham.
Only $3.50 bottle of pop at stand...Pepsi Edge. $5.00 souvenir soda of Pepsi purchased instead. $4.00 hot dogs, as well. Look for the new napkins which roll out like toilet paper.
Asinine halftime contest is still there.
The Brownie made his return on t-shirts. Unfortunately he was pissing on the Ravens' logo with "Fuck Baltimore" on the back.
Beggar solicitations: 0.
19 Action News was handing out t-shirts in easy shrinkable L sizes.
Bad high school cheerleading.
Many drunks. No ejections or lectures. Just peeing and nacho farts from Columbus guy.
Worst ad ever. The sing-along from Dave and Buster's. The song: "Sweet Caroline". Of course, I sang. We were reaching out and touching people all over the place. How that fits in with football is anyone's guess.
Hey, we won 20-3.

Meal of Links

Are we really in need of "The Tony Danza Show"? It really bugs me that a guy like that has his own TV show and I don't. I'm calling my agent tomorrow.

Fingerprint passwords intrigue me. But will it work after you eat Cheetos?

Mexicans hate light beer.

Exercise Yard

Roger Federer absolutely dominated the U.S. Open final. In a conversation this a.m., I said Federer had an excellent chance at becoming one of the all-time greats. A true artist on the court. From a shotmaking perspective, might be the best since McEnroe.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

It's 9/11 today and I hope everyone took out at least a few seconds to think about those who lost their lives in the attack and those who have perished in the battle since that fateful day. But life, no matter how trivial, moves on...

I am getting ready for the Browns opener tomorrow vs. the hated Baltimore Ravens. Here is a Ravens scouting report that might be of interest. Openers have not been kind to the Browns lately, but the first game always has such an aura of great expectations, they are fun to attend. Mainly because we really haven't seen what the team can do with their new QB, Jeff Garcia. We'll know fairly quickly if we should get those hopes up. BTW, that's me you'll hear screaming after our first false start.

Meal of Links

CBS, for whatever reason, appears to have broadcast forged documents regarding W.'s National Guard duty. Let's put that aside for now, as it is becoming clear that Bush walked away from his duties.

Looks like Freakboy loses at "Jeopardy!" in a couple of weeks. He lost all 4 Final Jeopardies this week. He must be bored.

Folks always point to Canada's healthcare system as a model on how to do things. But there are problems surrounding the administering of basic healthcare needs.

Exercise Yard

I just noticed that Indiana, of all teams, was leading Oregon, 23-0, at the half. Fairly insignificant except for the running exploits of one BenJarvus Green-Ellis.

Visitor

37 Down: "Boston Public" actress (8 letters) Answer: Jeri Ryan

Isolation Thought

I set a personal best at the dentist this a.m. when he said, "When we do a root canal, most people have 2 canals. Some have 3. Very few have 4. You have 4." Thank you, Jesus. The cool thing was it didn't take too long, as I think the status of the tooth allowed for easy access. This is the beginning of the last of my procedures for a while, I think.

I used to think Tom Sizemore was a decent actor, as he did nice turns in "Heat", "Saving Private Ryan", and especially "True Romance". He is starring in the new ESPN movie about Pete Rose, and like many other (make that all) ESPN movies, this one has all the appearances of a dog. However, one scene in the commercial for "Hustle" makes me laugh out loud. Sizemore is wearing sunglasses and appears to be walking on an airport tarmac, wearing a fur coat. I'm tellin' ya, he looks like Sonny Bono!!! I don't think of Pete Rose as a great athlete, but my God, I never thought he looked like an offkey singer from the 60's either. Anyhow, look for some sort of weird DVD collection eventually of these ESPN movies. Do not buy it.

Meal of Links

The NFL starts its season today. It amazes me how the NFL has surpassed MLB in popularity, and did it so easily. Looking back, I cannot believe it took Paul Tagliabue so long to be elected the commissioner. The NFL has such a position of strength these days, and they don't have a team in LA, which is truly amazing. Here is Bill Simmons' two part take on the new season. And why is Tom Jackson yelling like Stephen A. Smith right now on ESPN's NFL pre-game show, previewing "Monday Night Countdown", easily the most urban sports program on TV.

This year's Raiderette squad is wearing boots designed by Carlos Santana. I always wondered how Browns cheerleaders would look. I'm convinced they'd be in winter duds by November 1.

What's up with British rock these days? Franz Ferdinand wins the Mercury Prize. "Take Me Out" might be my favorite record of the year.

What does Lauren Bacall have against Nicole Kidman?

Exercise Yard

Federer beats Agassi at the U.S. Open. Match of the tournament, thus far. Look for Lleyton Hewitt to win. He has been under the radar, playing flawlessly.

Visitor

12 Down: Country singer Axton (4 letters) Answer: Hoyt

Isolation Thought

I am really aggravated by Dick Cheney's election comments. He said if Lurch were elected, we would absolutely be attacked. Huh, Edith? I thought two weeks ago W. said we were winning the war on terror. Of course, the Russians would dispute that. The U.S. military in Fallujah would dispute that. And numerous other countries and individuals would also dispute that. I think at a minimum, that Cheney comment is careless, but I think it's a perfect example of how this administration governs. Right from the pages of "Fear Factor".

Meal of Links

By golly, they found some of the Second One Termer in his Family's National Guard records. This would not have happened under the watch of one Radar O'Reilly.

"Friday Night Lights" has been made into a movie. It's from the Buzz Bissinger book about how huge high school football is in Texas, and is a proud member of my personal library. If you think Iggy or St. Ed's football is big, get a load of this.

I was looking forward to seeing that stunt pilot grab that NASA thingie out of the sky over Utah this morning. They had a really cool shot of it zooming towards earth, tumbling at about 15 rpm. As it was getting closer I thought out loud, "Uh, where's the parachute?" Gee, it failed to deploy and the thingie crashed into the earth. Next plan...giant catcher's mitt.

Exercise Yard

Well, I knew it would suck. "The Next Great Champ" had all of about 7 minutes of boxing action. None of it continuous. It focused too much on the personalities. Let's face it, if these boxers were any good, they would not need this program to make their mark. They should have Lou Duva tell stories for an hour to make it interesting.

Visitor

7 Down: Edison contemporary (5 letters) Answer: Tesla. And what the hell, the lyrics to "Tesla Girls" by OMD.

Isolation Thought

One of the things I like about being off is I'm able to check on "The Jerry Springer Show". Our next governor still has it. Yesterday, a guest claimed she had "two years of college education." Jerry politely interjected, "You can't be on our show...did you lie during the interview?" Of course, the audience is out of control and Jerry always has that one line that only his floor manager gets, but proceeds to crack me up. He's still the King.

Meal of Links

How about "The 10 Most Hated Men in Rock"? Recent Cleveland visitor John Popper, makes Honorable Mention. It's one man's opinion, but I kinda liked the list.

It's a good night for TV. Finally. "Frontline" debuts with a piece on the rebuilding of the WTC site. "P.O.V" resurrects "Wattstax", the black "Woodstock". And, of course, Fox starts "The Next Great Champ", for the few of us who remain fight fans. Yeah, it could suck like watching a Joe Mesi fight, but it's boxing.

TiVo and Netflix team up for movie downloads.

Exercise Yard

The saga of Tim Couch continues. The Pack cut him at the end of training camp, amid some strong comments of him dogging it during camp (his sore arm held him out of 10(!) training camp sessions), and not being the player the Packers thought they signed. He was beaten out by a third-stringer who had a (gulp) 18.5 passer rating in preseason. Clearly, this guy was in over his head. Oh, he may emerge like a Testaverde or a Dilfer, but I think he'll become more of a Rick Mirer type. It appears the Colts have some interest in him, ironically to fill the Kelly Holcomb role on the team.

Visitor

14 Across: "Hip to Be Square" rocker Lewis (4 letters) Answer: Huey

Isolation Thought

It's the Labor Day/I'm on vacation this week version. Fun things like a dental visit in the works. So, let's go random.

A history of Labor Day.

My prediction of sponsorship (including logos) of the "yellow line" on football games is halfway there. During a Fresno State-Washington game, I was constantly reminded the yellow line was sponsored by Overstock.com.

Two terrific columns from the Times. Maureen Dowd (good to see her making the rounds on TV lately with her new book), as usual, dead on. And Frank Rich actually calls Bush a sissy.

Only I could swap Bill Elliott for eventual race winner Elliott Sadler in NASCAR. Idiot.

A wedding cake made from Hostess products. Skyline Chili probably catered the affair.

From the world of unfortunate headlines.

Meal of Links

Aw, crap. Freakboy returns to Jeopardy tonight.

Anita Baker is back. In the music industry, it is very difficult to reclaim an audience. 10 years is a long time away.

Forbes annual listing of NFL team valuations. Browns revenues: $183 million. Browns operating costs: $59 million. It's good to be a Lerner. I think that just about quashes any new ownership rumors.

Exercise Yard

Contraction may lead to a player strike in Japanese Baseball.

Visitor

32 Down: Bennett of "What's My Line?" (4 letters) Answer: Cerf

Isolation Thought

I feel like Aldo Nova this morning, baecause I have to get my fantasy teams together. I'm still plugging away with NASCAR and, of course, the NFL starts Thursday night.

NASCAR has replaced the traditional Labor Day race, the Southern 500, with an evening race from SoCal. I play the ESPN game where you pick 5 drivers. It's these type of races I like, because if you pay attention, you can sneak someone on your team cheaply. That means a guy like the semi-retired Bill Elliott can be had for a song. Plus, he got me a Top Ten at the Brickyard and qualified third for this race. I like my chances.

Moving on to football. I don't play any fantasy games for money. They take up too much time and being a competitive sort, I really like watching football a lot, so I can't watch a game in pain if my fantasy guys stink that particular week. So, I play the Sporting News game for free. Here is my roster (2 QBs, 2 RBs, 2 WRs and a defense):

Byron Leftwich and Jake Delhomme, QB
Rudi Johnson and Corey Dillon, RB
Laveranues Coles and Andre Johnson, WR
Bears defense

I think it looks pretty good, except I don't have a real stud at any position. Maybe as the season proceeds, there'll be be a breakout rookie (like Anquan Boldin), who I can get cheaply, but we'll see.

BTW, two awesome food items at the Taste of Cleveland. Shrimp rolls from the Mekong River (not the Mekong Delta as I mistakenly called it during a Nam flashback) and Don Pablo's Chocolate Volcano Cake which must have increased my sugar level twofold.

Meal of Links

The buildup to Clinton's heart surgery is taking about as long as Hurricane Frances took to come on shore.

In case you are bewildered by all of the violence in Chechnya, this should help explain a lot of things.

A list of politiclaly-themed movies debuting this fall. Good to see another John Sayles film, "Silver City" coming out. I've always liked his films.

Exercise Yard

Well, my two favorite college football teams played and, as always, Michigan beat Miami. We'll see how Miami does with a new QB this year. But quite the debut from a Michigan freshman, who obviously didn't realize he had over 100,000 people watching.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

On principle, I never attend the Browns final preseason game. But it was great to see future star, Luke McCown, take third stringers upon many scoring drives. That's the problem with these final games. They are playing for spots, but how many, 2 or 3? Anyhow, Luke looks the real deal.

But in the neverending quest of doing things for free, I don't understand why anyone would pay for the Air Show. All you have to do is plant yourself behind the Rock Hall or Science Center and you have a great view. Take along a soda and a sammie or a lawn chair and you can sit in sun or shade. I parked by the Stadium on the street, strolled over to the Rock Hall, aligned myself expertly with the Mather and there you go. For free.

Combined with a free entry to tonight's Taste of Cleveland and it's a bargain day.

Meal of Links

Anheuser-Busch is a major player in hurricane relief. "Hooray, beer!"

Modern stalking via GPS tracking. James Bond was probably doing this in the sixties. Of course, his gadget size was big. In lots of ways.

Miss Universe has a wardrobe malfunction. And I say, "Nice butt."

Exercise Yard

Great to see Mary Pierce filling tennis dresses once more.

Visitor

60 Across: 1956 perfect game pitcher (6 letters) Answer: Larsen

Isolation Thought

Last night while watching Dick Cheney speak at the Republican convention, it hit me like a thunderbolt. The man is Bob Hope. His talking out of the side of his mouth, his timing where he turns to the side and waits for the applause after the punchline, and of course, staring ahead and then chuckling after a funny, my God, it was amazing. All that was missing was the golf club. I'm thinking this guy watched Hope deliver all those bad jokes over the years and he patterned his public speaking after him. Trust me, next time he delivers a speech from behind a podium, watch him and you'll immediately think of Bob "On the Road for Texaco" Hope.

Meal of Links

The Naked Chef's restaurant is apparently stripped of good food. As one paper noted, it "has now been judged far from lovely-jubbly."

Ray Ratto thinks we already have boxing reality shows. They're called "boxing".

How is the Elizabeth Smart kidnapper competent to stand trial, let alone able to plead not guilty? I mean he looks sane, but...

Exercise Yard

Even if Barry Bonds is on the yam-yam, the man has whiffed only 29 times this year. That's how many times the church bell chimed in "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald", for perspective.

Visitor

28 Down: Stylish 60's Brits (4 letters) Answer: Mods

Isolation Thought

Think of all the time and money that would have been saved if Kobe Bryant's victim had done what most others would probably do. Just take the money. She ended up filing a civil suit two weeks ago. Now Bryant cannot be tried criminally for this case and he'll probably pay a settlement. I think if she had tried to get that money at the start, she'd have wound up with more than she will now. Ironically, Kobe's wife has probably made out better cashwise than the victim ever will.

Mitt Romney just said, "We can't afford presidential leadership to come in 57 varieties." at the Republican convention. That's actually kinda funny.

Meal of Links

OK, we knew the 10th anniversary DVD of "Clerks" was coming out. But did anyone know it's a three disc effort? And Kevin Smith says he wants to do a sequel. Not sure about the sanity of that one. I mean those two actors haven't exactly been burning up the screen the last 10 years.

Apparently all of the chocolate companies got together and decided dark chocolate is good for the blood vessels. Which reminds me, free truffles at Godiva.

Philadelphia is looking to provide citywide wireless access. Mayor Jane, get off your ass.

Exercise Yard

Another horse racing scandal in the UK. Kieren Fallon, a top jockey, was arrested with 16 others. I've always thought horse racing was above board, but we've all seen things that sometimes make you go mmmmmm. Let's clean this up and move on.

Visitor

20 Across: "Doctor Zhivago" author (14 letters) Answer: Boris Pasternak

Isolation Thought

I like Serena Williams' denim look at the U.S. Open.

Gotta run. The Terminator is giving his "I'm Living the American Dream" speech.

Meal of Links

I almost fainted when I saw noted liberal actor, Ron Silver, at the Republic National Convention.

The new iMac looks spiffy.

As I suspected, "Father of the Pride" sucks.

Exercise Yard

Wayne Rooney "could have been a god but chose to be a devil".

Visitor

19 Across: Yankee infielder's nickname (4 letters) Answer: A-Rod

Isolation Thought

Bad day for queuing yesterday. The folks at NCB, of course, only had two tellers on the last Saturday of the month. The line was way past the Maze of Ropes. Idiots. The folks at Third Federal contributed to my horrible timing. I am first through the Maze right after I walked in. Then I waited. And waited. And waited some more. The timing of the previous 7 people all having major transactions or being idiots was frustrating. Then some clown at the local Citgo prepays, but says she's at my pump. I pump $7.00 thinking that it seemed small, but hey, it might have been. Employee figures it out when I pay, and of course, clown blames him for the mishap. But cute cashier wanted to check out my car, so I didn't mind staying longer for her.

Meal of Links

Eventually, we'll have to buy the really cool TVs, right? LCD vs. Plasma.

The Israelis always seem to be spying on us.

Greenspan talks about Social Security again. This type of talk wakes everyone up. Kinda like when a cat hears a can of anything opening up.

Exercise Yard

Didn't see much of the Browns game, because of a power failure and the fact my DVR stopped recording before the Browns comeback. Thank you, Adelphia. But I did learn that one unsportsmanlike conduct penalty can offset not one, not two, but three personal fouls from the other team. Competition committee may want to look into that. Anyhow, the legend of Luke McCown began last night. Jeff Garcia Quote of the Week: "I'm not seeing things I want to see out of our offense." Oh, boy.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

Sat in the Terrace Club for last night's Indians game. No, not in the prime window area, but at a regular table. I have pretty much decided if I go to the Terrace Club, it's really a chance to shoot the shit and have a few pops, because I cannot concentrate on the game. Yeah, there's TV and a scoreboard lurking in the background, but you are so removed from the atmosphere. Don't get me wrong, it's nice and the air conditioning was on yesterday, but if you're intent on seeing the game, I'd advise staying in your regular seats or watch it on the tube.

Meal of Links

New dietary guidelines include several no-brainers. Less salt, exercise 30 minutes most days, eat more fish. I guess they assumed that if the recommendation was for less sugar as well, people would ignore it.

What do you know? Contaminated flu vaccines. I have taken one flu shot in my life. Too many risks.

Arnold gets a bill through the California legislature allowing the purchase of Canadian drugs. Hello, Governor Tax, wake up!!!

Exercise Yard

With the Olympics heading toward their close, I think the IOC did a helluva job sniffing out the dopers. There were some really big names that got caught, and that Greek scandal, especially, looks like a headline grabber for some time. But all that aside, it's a terrific story that El Guerrouj g got his double in the 1500m and 5000m races. He is an amazing runner.

Visitor

17 Across: "CSI" actress (8 letters) Answer: Jorja Fox

Isolation Thought

I tend to listen to music probably more than I should. But I've never entered the Air Guitar World Championships. I'm not sure the last time I played air guitar. I thought that went out with Power Station or maybe Winger. Time to start practicing a Townshend.

Meal of Links

The Top Ten Sci-Fi Films of all time.

Arnold's having a garage sale.

It's amazing what stem cells can do. Here's a guy who grew a new jaw in his back. Now if they could just get his head out of his ass.

Exercise Yard

Some more Olympics stuff. Here's a guy celebrating Last Place Finishers.

And some photos of Kerri Walsh. OK, this seemed interesting, because of the hand placement. Then it gets more interesting from this view. But it's certainly not the hand from the first photo. She was groped so many times, there are probably a lot of photos to choose from.

Visitor

59 Down: Hunter of Mott the Hoople (3 letters) Answer: Ian

Isolation Thought

The Little League World Series is going on presently. A kid from Chinese Taipei listed his favorite band as Power Station. Huh? That's slightly behind the curve there, Junior. Maybe he can move on to Winger.

And you gotta love the new Chunky Soup commercial with Mrs. McNabb. I see Sean Jones of the Browns is also on the Chunky team. And they now have Chunky Chili. Wait a minute, I thought you got that after you ate...never mind.

Meal of Links

Proof that Dave Matthews shits all over his fans.

John Kerry was not so good on "The Daily Show". Kerry actually was setting us up when he reminded everyone "that President Bush has never lost a debate." Uh-oh, that's not a good sign from the Democrat. I thought Bush was a dolt, now he's the Debate King. God help us.

Phil Spector's attorneys of the week.

Exercise Yard

Serena gets ready for the Open.

Visitor

16 Across: Petrocelli of '60s-'70s baseball (4 letters) Answer: Rico

Isolation Thought

Fark had a great poll today. It's 3 a.m., you've been drinking, where would you rather go?

Waffle House

Taco Bell

Steak 'n Shake

Since there are no Waffle Houses nearby, I have to eliminate them. However, it's a joy having an ex-con make your breakfast. Taco Bell used to be my choice since it's around the corner from me. But after Midnight, you have to go inside to order, completely defeating the late night concept. It's tough to top the three Soft Taco Supreme and keg-sized Mountain Dew combo. But the best of the lot has to be Steak 'n Shake. Because they don't make your order ahead of time, it's a long wait at the drive thru. In the wee hours of a weekend, the hungry driver takes on all forms. It is quite the show. A 3 a.m. Steakburger Combo with a Caffeine-free Diet Coke. Mercy.

Meal of Links

I like Wi-Fi at hotels. But I don't wanna pay for it.

Reporters are being forced to reveal sources. The courts are going after them with fines and, in one case, jail.

It's always good to throw blueberries into a smoothie. Now, it's even healthier.

Exercise Yard

A fitting climax to the Olympic Beach Volleyball competition.

Visitor

36 Across: Operatic Lily (4 letters) Answer: Pons

Isolation Thought

I got to play a version of America's fun game, "Hey, I Remember That Asshole" at tonight's Indians game. There was an older guy there keeping score while wearing a baseball glove. Friends, once you hit a certain age, you stop wearing a glove to a game, regardless of location. This guy passed that years ago. Early in the game, he started yelling obnoxious, but insipid things about the Yankees. Then Slider helped with an engagement, which always makes me puke. Anyhow, there was a Yankee fan involved, I guess, because the guy started yelling that if she got pregnant, they should have an abortion. Politics and morals aside, that's just plain stupid. Then it hit me. I sat by this guy at a Yankee game in 2001. It was the game I went to with my cousin Ron that is immortalized as "L'Affaire du Celery". To make a long story short, he got in trouble and I got blamed. Anyhow, this idiot had the same lines from 3 years ago. When Jeter got hit by Wicky Wicky Bob in the 9th, I swear this guy had a conniption. I'm not sure I've ever witnessed one before, but I think he had one.

Regardless, Sheff came up next and, of course, homered. We lose, nobody hurls stuff at us, thinking we are with that guy, and I made it home safely.

Meal of Links

If I'm a juror and Sandra Bullock walks in, she wins.

This is the best article, so far, to fully describe what's going on with the Swift Boat incident. It's obvious the hatred of Kerry runs deep amongst many of the Vietnam Vets.

The virtual girlfriend on your mobile phone. Thea's got legs. Those two items could be related. If they're smart.

Exercise Yard

Paul Hamm, give back your medal! You did not win. You won because some idiot couldn't multiply correctly. You'll be on more than Wheaties boxes, if you do it. Come on, man. Think!! In two weeks, nobody remembers you. Turn in your medal, you're immortalized.

Visitor

67 Across: Historical seamstress (4 letters) Answer: Ross

Isolation Thought

Randomness from the Browns first home game:

Lee Suggs will be the starting RB, but where is our fullback?
Offensive line depth is, oh, I don't know, scary?
The sewage stench under the Shoreway on West 3rd is still there.
Alesci's was open, but that damn drunken lady (who now has an orange purse) played Buffett. Again.
First team defense had trouble with the run. Again.
Cleveland Browns Stadium northwest escalator broken. Again.
Delay of game, and burned three TOs on offense in the first 19 minutes. Again.
Winslow's a playa, dude.
Very few season ticket holders were there. No Bell Guy behind us. Bruce Arians' friend who always yells at people leaving...a no show. Dawg Pound Guy AWOL. Lots of fans disguised as orange seats. But we were representin' the 345.
Obvious towel-waving interloper in front of us kept calling everyone a bum. He was gone at the half, lamenting he was a former Dawg Pound STH. "Go east, young, troubled man."
Roy Williams, Detroit's #1 pick, dropped 4 balls. Let's say the effort was off a bit.
Garcia was OK, at best.
I still can't find my brick outside the Stadium. Did I even buy one?
My best line, after a Holcomb sack: "It was Couch's fault." That one was heard to be passed among the rows.
No #2 Wansley jerseys.
Oddest Browns jersey: #41 Prentice. Dude, get a catalog. Or a current roster.
$4 Popcorn is coming...now at $3.75. Same as water.
Asinine halftime contest still there.
The guy selling "Smoke Green" and "Fuck Pittsburgh" t-shirts enters the John Collins Era.
Beggar solicitations: 3.
Charities outside were the Buonoconti Fund, a great charity BTW, and firemen filling the boot for MDA.
Bad high school cheerleading.
Many drunks. Our section had 3 lectures, no ejections and one female who could have suffered some arm or shoulder injury after a drunken fall.
Best line from some random: "Let's go D!!!". Scenario: Late third quarter, meaningless exhibition game, 3rd stringers on the field. That "Get a life." comment from Butch, never more appropriate.
Oh, we won 17-10.

Meal of Links

Politics and wrestling, a somewhat odd tag team.

The demise of the daily comics. To paraphrase, "Do anything you want to the comics. However, don't fuck with the crossword puzzle."

It looks we have a new leader in the clubhouse for worst movie of the year. It is "Exorcist: The Beginning". Can't find one positive review.

Late news: They stole "The Scream" out of an Oslo gallery. The thieving of art always has a romantic quality to it, no? I'd be on the lookout for Alexander Mundy.

Exercise Yard

I was watching a bit of the Olympics heptathlon yesterday. Please test these women. My gosh, Kelly Sotherton of Great Britain may have had the only feminine look out of the lot of them, and that was a stretch. But, I got my first Olympic Fantasy points with Austra Skujyte of Lithuania, getting the silver in that event.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

While being distracted by beach volleyball, the price of oil is creeping towards $50 a barrel. This goes in line with the theory that the Saudis will ramp up production before the election to give the Second One-Termer in his Family a boost. I don't like the theory because the wallet is gonna take a pounding until all of this clears up. I never thought I'd wish for $42 a barrel oil.

Let's see, Driver A lives 300 miles from Beach Volleyball site. An increase of $3 a barrel would put him...(Must get obsession under control)...(Maybe tomorrow)

Meal of Links

A typical example of how mascots ruin everything. Here you have a group of nice ladies dancin' their little hearts out at the Olympic beach volleyball competition. And this numbnuts mascot, Athina, has to go out there and ruin everything for the viewing audience. Old fave, Holly McPeak plays today.

Madden 2005 sells an incredible 1.3 million copies in Week One. Please check your kids and spouses while they're tucked away for hours. We may not be the smartest country, but we are a nation of strong thumbs, a la Sissy Hankshaw.

I just ordered tickets for "Vote for Change". They actually had rules and questions while ordering. Occupation, company, can't be a US contractor, must be 18. Very weird. Plus I got uppers, as all the other tickets appeared to be bought ahead of time. Scalpers, anyone?

Exercise Yard

The two boxing reality shows are battling it out in court. I watch very few reality shows, but I'll be glued to these two. I gotta believe a desperate palooka will make good TV. "Yo, Britney."

Visitor

32 Across: Aunt of April, May and June (9 letters) Answer: Daisy Duck

Isolation Thought

Several of us went to see "Animal House" last night. The movie holds up very well. No doubt, John Belushi left this earth way too soon. Although it was like watching the younger Elvis vs. the later in life, bloated Elvis. The scene where he gathers food in the dining hall line is a simple one, but shows his non-verbal antics could rate with the old masters. "Do you mind if we dance with yo dates?" Omigod, that is still funny.

And it's amazing that another comic genius Douglas Kenney, who was Stork in the movie (the guy who leads the band into the wall), has also been gone for about 25 years. Kenney was using cocaine and got kicked off the press junket for "Caddyshack". He died in Hawaii shortly thereafter. Harold Ramis had the best line about his death, "Doug probably fell while looking for a place to jump."

This leads me to the death yesterday of Elmer Bernstein. He did the score on "Animal House" and left behind a mountain of work on some great movies, including that very military-sounding score on "Stripes".

BTW, please vote in next year's poll for Playhouse Square movies. "Caddyshack" and "Airplane" are struggling.

Meal of Links

My brother will be happy to know that LeBron's new Powerade drink will be known as "Flava23"

I love John McCain, but his support for Bush seems a bit phony, because he can't go a week without blasting Bush on something. Just recently, it was the "Swift Boat" ad and reduction of U.S. troops on foreign soil.

There is a "Moosehead on the loose."

Exercise Yard

Deion thinks he can still play football. Why would the Ravens need a part-timer like him? Don't get me wrong, I love the guy, but this guy is becoming another Zsa Zsa Gabor. You know the type. One who remains a celebrity, but no one knows quite sure how or why, and yet remains in the headlines.

Visitor

12 Down: Thurman of "Pulp Fiction" (3 letters) Answer: Uma, Jerry, Uma

Isolation Thought

Bobby Fischer's girlfriend says they want to get married. This case is fascinating to me, as Fischer is still behind bars in Japan. Marriage has no effect on case, other to gain sympathy.

Last weekend, C-SPAN ran an old rerun of John Kerry debating his old nemesis, John O'Neill on "The Dick Cavett" show. It was a great throwback to what troubled times those really were. Probably a 60-40 anti-war crowd, it was a terrific look back at what TV once was and how issues shows have degenerated into screaming matches, with little actual debate. And I think O'Neill does not come off as some crazy person, but someone deeply offended by statements Kerry made about the war. O'Neill's book is #1 on Amazon.com, BTW.

Meal of Links

RealNetworks drops the price of music downloads to 49 cent. Albums are $4.99 for a limited time. That is quite the deal.

Illinois will start a website to allow its citizens to obtain cheap foreign drugs. Meanwhile, Governor Tax sleeps.

Lil Kim is vowing to beat her perjury rap, citing the "government's continuing indictment of hip-hop." Huh? I need an explanation on that one.

Exercise Yard

May and Walsh win again. But I kinda like the Dutch. I'm gonna sign up to be the Joe Nossek of beach volleyball sign-stealing.

Visitor

46 Across: 2004 Kentucky Derby ____ Jones (6 letters) Answer: Smarty

Isolation Thought

It cannot be good if they find you naked on a lawn. It appears that ex-Mayor Coyne has a severe drinking problem or perhaps, a death wish. This is the most bizarre story involving a local politician in a long time. I guess he was so hammered, he decided to park it on someone's lawn for the evening. Interestingly enough, the North Olmsted police captain says that's not an unusual case in that city. I think he may want to restate that at a later time.

Meal of Links

Looks like we are shifting around our troop deployment. It's a hell of a lot cheaper to have these folks over here. But didn't it used to be join the service and see the world? It's a hard sell to have someone join the service and see Lawrence, Kansas.

It looks like a nasal cream can halt hay fever. A clothespin might be cheaper, if all you need is a filter.

I like beach volleyball, because it is a sport that requires teammates who get along. Here's a gratuitous Holly McPeak sighting.

Exercise Yard

Puerto Rico beats the "Bad Dream Team". Somewhere, Butch Lee is smiling. In 1976, Lee was a guard from Marquette who got snubbed by USA Basketball. He had dual citizenship and went to Montreal as a member of Team Puerto Rico. In an unbelievable game, he threw in 35 points and Puerto Rico lost by 1, with Lee getting called for a charge with 3 seconds to go. It ranks as one of the best ever Olympic basketball games.

Visitor

17 Across: Bob Keeshan kids' character for more than 30 years (15 letters) Answer: Captain Kangaroo

Isolation Thought

OK, I've been bashing the Olympics, but they are upon us and like a train wreck, I have to watch. Seems like Bravo got the short end of the broadcasting stick, as I saw live Men's Doubles in Ping Pong this morning. Sport of the ought's, perhaps? Apparently, not all is well within Athens. And could the 2012 Games end up in New York City?

Meal of Links

A perspective on what smaller toy retailers have to deal with when competing with the big boys.

The devastation of Hurricane Charley.

This explains why Hollywood stinks. "Thunderbirds" should have never been made and it prevents other films from getting greenlighted.

Exercise Yard

Lots of stuff. The Browns stunk out the joint against the Titans. They still cannot stop the run. But the Indians remain hot and get closer to the Twins. Even the managers had a little hoohah on the field. The Olympics have started and I am startled at the amount of empty seats in Athens. More importantly, here is my Fantasy Olympics squad: Cameroon, Mozambique, Morocco, Lithuania and Mexico. Go Ana Guevara, Maria Mutola, Hicham El Guerrouj, Francoise Mbango Etone, Lithuania basketball!!!

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

I was at the Indians game last night and they blasted the Twins. The Twins resembled the Twinkies of old. It's amazing how many games you can watch and then you will see something you've never seen before. Last night, Matt Lawton bluffed a steal of second. First of all, why Minnesota thought he'd be stealing with a 4-run lead was questionable. Anyhow, Lawton bluffs and it wasn't even a great one. The pitch is a ball and the catcher, Henry Blanco, gets up and fires one into centerfield. Obviously, no one was covering and Lawton was actually heading back to first when he finally realized what happened. We've seen hundreds of catchers (Chris Bando, most prominently) wing balls into centerfield on steal attempts, but I've never seen a throw tossed out there on a non-steal attempt.

The Tribe is looking very good right now and could be termed a juggernaut. It will be interesting if it continues in the future, because I think we may have at least three new infielders next year.

Meal of Links

This is what happens when you blindly pass something called "The Patriot Act". It seems the Border Patrol has been "expanding" the border a bit to haul away a bunch of people. I don't care if these folks are illegals, when you allow law enforcement any sort of expanded authority, they will stretch it to the maximum.

In case you need some sneakers. Here is the new "John Lennon Peace Chuck" from Converse.

It's the 50th anniversary of the most famous jazz festival, the Newport.

Exercise Yard

Saw a bit of the Olympic opening ceremonies last night. Two things stood out for me. What the hell does Bjork have to do with Greece? And that dress was just stupid. The other was Del Harris marching with the Chinese delegation. It further cemented his resemblance to Frank Drebin, especially in the context of someone inserting themselves into a sporting event.

Visitor

24 Down: "Wayne's World" actress (10 letters) Answer: Tia Carrere

Isolation Thought

I am perplexed as to what's happening with today's media. The governor of New Jersey, Jim McGreevey,resigned today. In an administration rife with corruption, the governor shockingly resigns. The married governor, and father, then admits he is gay at a news conference. And he is resigning because he is about to be sued in a sexual harassment by his spurned male lover. On the scandal meter, this is about an 18.

Yet I see more coverage of Amber Frey's testimony at the Scott
Peterson trial. I just don't get it. Governors having affairs and resigning does not happen every day, but we are subjected to this tabloid journalism from most media.

Meal of Links

Toys 'R' Us may be sold. Wal-Mart's role in the destruction of this company cannot be underestimated.

Isn't science a wonderful thing? Scientists have turned procrastinating monkeys into workaholics.

The Vatican shuts down a haven for child porn and homosexuality. No, it's not an adult store, it's an Austrian seminary. Good grief!

Exercise Yard

The Clippers owner, Donald Sterling, has his own sex scandal to deal with. Can't spend money on his team, but pays for sex. Lots of money for lots of sex.

Visitor

21 Down: Finnish track star Nurmi (5 letters) Answer: Paavo

Isolation Thought

I attended Browns training camp for the first time in my life yesterday. It was kind of boring...I didn't really know what to look for. I got to see Mary Kay Cabot's legs though. But the future of the Browns is Luke McCown. That Texan can throw that there football.

Otherwise, it was special teams coaching and I think I got more right answers than the players when asked questions by the coaches. And Butch Davis is just acting all giddy doing warmups. Can't wait for his propaganda show next week. Big men include Jeff Faine, who looked like a walking muscle. Ryan Tucker is another sun blocker. Garmon from San Diego is a big guy, too.

Meal of Links

There is a public showing of Rick James, in case anyone is interested.

Look for your favorite national anthems at the Olympics. Ukraine's opening line is "Ukraine has not died yet." Now that's inspiring.

Harrod's in London opened their Christmas store today. Father Christmas complained that it was too damn hot.

Exercise Yard

It's football season soon, so it's time for the must read Tuesday Morning Quarterback from Gregg Easterbrook.

Visitor

53 Down: Country's Haggard(5 letters) Answer: Merle

Isolation Thought

I was at the dentist today. It's in Parma, so they have a lot of old Euros come in for some fixing up. My God, this old-timer today must have been reliving Treblinka. It's bad enough you have to sit there with some foul-tasting impression maker in your mouth or hear those lovely words, "Hand me that crown reduction drill.", but then you have to listen to that crap. They told her to say aah, and I'll be damned if she didn't sing it. "Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!" "Lady, you know how to get to Carnegie Hall? Practice." Then it seemed they would get her to open her mouth and then she would say "Ow!" or "Stop hurting me." without them even doing anything. Any movement and she would start up. Like waving a hand in her face---"OW!". "Your bill today is..."---"Stop hurting me." God help us if she was there only for a checkup.

Meal of Links

News from the Willie and Dylan baseball tour.

Can't enter the space flight contest if your rocket done blowed up.

We've all seen this picture of Kerry, right?

Exercise Yard

It's football season soon, so it's time for the must read Monday Morning Quarterback from Peter King.

Visitor

35 Down: Mama of pop (4 letters) Answer: Cass

Isolation Thought

President Nixon resigned 30 years ago today. I have him to thank for my interest in politics, which has never subsided. I recall watching the Watergate hearings which I could see after school and then all day during the summer. When you're a kid, it's amazing how these major historical happenings can intertwine with other events. The day Tricky Dick left town, on the 9th, we went to the Indians game. I could not remember who we played, but here is the box score. I think Gaylord had a better year than Nixon.

But those were fascinating times. Really that era from 67-75, man, there was a lot of stuff goin' down, as they used to say. Always something happening that might change things forever.

Meal of Links

The fear factor about a disruption of the November election rises again. I am still mystified as to who would benefit. Kerry would get some votes, I guess, if we were attacked again, because of a Bush policy failure. Bush would get some votes, I guess, if he acted "presidential" after an attack. So, I'm perplexed as to why it would happen.

The Olympics, for TV purposes have become "The Crying Games".

It may be the end of an era for cancelled checks.

Exercise Yard

Greg Maddux won his 300th game yesterday. He is a great pitcher, but one who doesn't get the pub, because he uses his brain and not the 99 mph heater to beat you. If C.C. drops some lbs. and stays healthy, he has a shot at 300, but he won't be an Indian at that point in his career.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

We tend to complain about prices, but what is with the price of pop lately? I used to have brand loyalty, but not when two 2-liter bottles for $3 is considered a deal at the local grocery. I just finished a Giant Eagle THREE-liter Root Beer and I couldn't say it was better or worse than Mug or A&W. And it only cost me 89 cent. 89 cent for three liters!!! Root Beer!!! Hooray, Root Beer!!!

Had some chow at the downtown Winking Lizard yesterday. I thought it pretty average and still cannot get over how some people swear by their food. I tend to swear, albeit mildly, after I eat it. It's not much of an endorsement when you say, "Well, it's not awful."

Trust me when I tell ya, this year's concert lineup at the Taste of Cleveland is the worst I've seen. I'll give you Buddy Guy and Robert Cray. But Blues Traveler and America? As my Spanish teacher used to say, "Madre de Dios!!" That's 'merican for "Ugh!!" It appears they lost their grocery sponsor, can't remember if it was Tops or Giant Eagle. Maybe that's why the lineup stinks. My gosh, I think we're gonna have to call the Eddie Money Hotline and get his ass up here posthaste.

Meal of Links

Rick James died yesterday. It's kinda sad when they say "apparently, of natural causes." meaning "we can't believe he lasted this long either."
"You and I" is probably my favorite Rick James record. I still remember when they used to advertise (yes, they actually once promoted records with commercials) "Bustin' Out of L Seven" on TV. That made you sit up and notice.

England just named a new court jester. Fox greenlights "Jester Idol".

Forbes does Vodka and lists their Top Ten. They also state $30 vodka in a Bloody Mary should be considered an extravagance.

Exercise Yard

High jumpers are cool.

Visitor

55 Across: Jazzman Montgomery (3 letters) Answer: Wes

Isolation Thought

Does Ohio have the homeliest bunch of toll booth workers in the country?

Meal of Links

"The Wall" is coming to Broadway. I don't see Michael Crawford as Pink.

Napa wines, oddly enough, must come from grapes grown in Napa. Philadelphia seen negotiating with cream cheese.

Illinois Republicans can't find anyone from their own state to run for Senate. Somehow they choose noted Maryland nutbag, Alan Keyes, as their candidate.

Exercise Yard

Here are some songs that are played when major leaguers bat. "They're my theme music, every hero's got to have some."

Visitor

16 Across: Plastic ___ Band (3 letters) Answer: Ono

Isolation Thought

Now this is interesting. We are going to have a couple of concerts with political overtones, because we are a swing state. It is called the "Vote for Change Tour". Here is the schedule. We get The Boss (on "Nightline" tonight), R.E.M., John Fogerty (hey, maybe I can tell him my dream), Dixie Chicks and James Taylor. I think it's a two-night deal, with one or both at the Gund.

I'm sure others will be added. Maybe Ronstadt will stop in. But I'm gonna guess we are in for a night of preachin', as well.

Meal of Links

TV News: Al Franken's radio show will broadcast a highlight show on Sundance. Wrong star to hitch your wagon to. Dennis Miller tries to revamp the train wreck that is his CNBC show. (Note the chef's hat!!) Meanwhile, John McEnroe's show is dying, also on CNBC. Rumor has it his rating is between 0.0 and 0.1. That, my friends, sucks.

On the surface, this FCC decision on file sharing is a big win for TiVo. They beat the NFL and Hollywood on this one.

Cincinnati rescinds the festival seating law. Now if they would just rescind that awful "WKRP in Cincinnati" episode about the Who concert.

Exercise Yard

Here is why Steinbrenner may foot the bill for a new Yankee Stadium. Meanwhile, Larry Dolan sleeps.

Visitor

43 Across: "Humboldt's Gift" author Saul (6 letters) Answer: Bellow

Isolation Thought

OK, there is some new technology out there to help scientists figure out how we dream. The loved, but not forgotten Dream Chamber is probably out haunting some unsuspecting fool, as we speak. But that hasn't stopped my nightly trips.

The latest memorable one was where we set up a police sting to capture a criminal. You'd think The Gloved One would be the culprit. But, no. It was, of course, noted CCR leader, John Fogerty. Yes, "put me in coach" took on a whole different meeting. Anyhow, it was so freakishly real, I'll eventually start receiving pension checks from the police department.

Meal of Links

How the pundits were battling each other at the Democratic convention. Oddly enough, Fox may have been the most subdued.

Dave Chappelle cashes in. Now he's really rich, bitch.

The FAA is getting fed up with O'Hare Airport. The officials probably didn't make the meeting on time, due to delays.

Exercise Yard

The Yankees and Red Sox may merge TV networks. The Sawks will probably have to start their games at Midnight.

Visitor

17 Down: New Age musician John (4 letters) Answer: Tesh

Isolation Thought

I don't know why I have ESPN on my brain, but they are in the news a lot today. First of all, they fired David Aldridge, and hopefully, TNT grabs him. David is an excellent reporter and a really funny guy. His humor comes out more on his guest spots on ESPNews, PTI and ESPN Radio. Apparently, he doesn't scream enough for the network. I like Stephen A., but come on, I think there was room for both of them there.

Pat Summerall is subbing for Mike Patrick on ESPN's pre-season football games. Summerall is one of the sport's greatest announcers, while Patrick is pretty pedestrian. Patrick is better on basketball when paired with Dick Vitale (who needs a muzzle) on basketball, but tries way too hard on the NCAA women's tournament.

My favorite, Bill Simmons, gets to run NBA TV for a weekend later this month. I have complete faith he'll be up to that programming task. Hope he gets some air time, as well. Now, if I just had the damn channel.

Next week, former SportsCenter anchors return for a shift. Yes, that means Berman (ugh!). Hell has not froze over, so Keith Olbermann will not be back.

Meal of Links

Young man, Farm Aid goes west. No word on who's playing. We know it'll be at least Willie, Mellencamp and Dave Matthews.

It appears Mark Hacking was aptly named. Never thought of this, but cadaver dogs really have trouble finding bodies at landfills, because of too many competing odors.

The Subservient President. These commands work (refresh to type in a new one): Drink, launch a nuke, draft, Ronald Reagan, John Kerry, halliburton, masturbate, find wmd, osama, terror, prisoner and I've run out of patience. That last one is me talking.

Exercise Yard

Since the Browns negotiations with Kellen Winslow are not going well presently, I thought I'd resurrect this "Going Postons" cartoon. I've heard more than one outlet say he'll be in camp by the end of the week. We'll see.

Visitor

32 Down: Singer Torme (3 letters) Answer: Mel

Isolation Thought

It amazes me what you can see while driving around in the wee hours of the morning. Cruising down Bellaire last night after 3:00, it looked like there may have been an episode of "Cops" being filmed down a side street in Linndale. As I continued on, I noticed two youths running across Bellaire, proceeding to run through some church grounds. When I arrived at home, I believe I saw why the youths were scampering home.

Why, it was the infomercial for the "Hot Air Brush". This was some sort of tool that was not just a blow dryer, but a styling iron and some sort of comb that can straighten your hair...in minutes!!! Look out, Carrot Top. It made me wonder if the Flowbee was still being sold, as I believe they are probably still selling the original manufacturing run. Alas, it is. Here is an old column about the Flowbee.

Meal of Links

Nicolas Cage gets married. Again. "What's the point of being a teenager if you can't dress weird?" That was from when he was in good movies.

I wonder if all owners would pay ransom to dognappers.

This is part of the battle that Lurch is up against. The second one-termer in his family does have appeal with the gun lobby, can spend unlimited funds in August for ads, and will hammer Kerry on alleged "flip-flops".

Exercise Yard

Dan Shaughnessy's "tribute" to Nomar.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.